Perhaps, like me, you walked into work one day with a slightly lighter step, and a slightly brighter outlook. When you got to your desk, or cash register, or post, you took a moment to think of all the things for which you are grateful. I was grateful, for example, for my thermos of coffee and the fact that almost all of my students showed up on time. By lunch, the buzz was all around: everyone had heard about The Secret by Rhonda Byrne .
For those who've been visiting a part of the world with no television, DVD players, internet access, or bookstores, The Secret is a new-age look at the world, with specific emphasis on your relationship to the energy that is in constant motion. The premise of the book or DVD is simply that the energy you put out is returned to you; since like attracts like, you must put out energy similar to what you want in order to get what you want, whether it be money, love, health, or whatever it is you need. It is the current-day version of the promising slogan of the film titled Field of Dreams starring one young and handsome Kevin Costner: "If you build it, they will come."
The information in The Secret is not original, but it does compress some basic philosophies (with some tools) into a neat little package. Techniques, such as visualization, are recommended for laying out the world you would like inhabit. This is a modus operandi for many upper echelon athletes: Playing it out in your mind will have your body follow. (This technique is not fool-proof, as I learned at my last beach volleyball game. I visualized over and over again that I could hit the volleyball over my opponents outstretched arms and straight down into their court -- a move known as smashing ... and a move I had never done before. I quickly learned that the act of visualization should take place within the realm of reality.)
At our lunch-table, as with any conversation dealing with topics that have been "Oprah-fied" by their appearance on that show, there was a naysayer, a human black-hole sucking away all the happy, warm, fuzzy feelings and gratitude. This fellow, whom I'll call Ed, had watched the Oprah show about The Secret. Even though he admitted to never having watched The Secret DVD or having read the book, he decided that this movement was typical of middle- to upper-class people.
Ed raised the point that visualization, gratitude, and belief were not enough to lift someone out of poverty, for example. Ed said this at a table of believers, whose eyes showed consternation and confusion at such blasphemous talk. But Ed had a point. Could this work for the poor, the have-nots of society? Or is it simply a cushy version of manifest destiny, capitalist values that anyone can change their life if they want to; so, in turn, if your life sucks, that's because it is what you want?
It is interesting to note that the bulk of individuals who purchase self-help books are white-collar professional women, which raises the question: Is the help going to where it's really needed? Some of the most popular titles include the single woman's stop-being-a-doormat, He Just Not That Into You, the married woman's stop-trying-to-talk-your-partner-to-death, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and a litany of Dr. Phil McGraw works such as Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters, and other titles. Most people who are on fixed incomes are not likely to head to their local Chapters to spend the $15 to $40 on these tomes. So, is The Secret just the latest in a long line of material servicing an already over-serviced audience?
In the process of the argument with Ed, I chose to defend this current phenomenon. As I did, I found myself saying that the principles of this philosophy are completely compatible and useful for those who live below the poverty line. I found myself saying that, in Canada, given the services available (such as social assistance, public housing, education, a minimum wage), that, yes, people can do better if they just see it and believe it. I was talking as though I were a card-carrying member of the Conservative party (impossible, considering my political leanings), but I couldn't help but believe what I was saying. I left the lunch-table confused and distraught, but sticking to my point.
Ed ascribed my position to what he assumed was my bourgeois upbringing. In fact, I'm a daughter of immigrant, working-class individuals who came to Canada unable to understand either official language, who found employment in menial jobs of housecleaning and construction. My parents, brother, and I lived in an apartment until I was 13 years old, until we had saved enough money to buy a lot for their dream house -- which they had been visualizing for 21 years. They formed relationships with other people in similar situations and with similar goals. In imagining what they believed would make them happy, their actions followed through to achieve that, leading my parents to get their dream home almost 20 years after they arrived in this country, another vacation home in their native country, and a comfortable retirement with annual resort vacations.
So, by the end of this process, I am still grateful. I am grateful for Ed, who brought up some interesting points about who could benefit from the use of The Secret. I am grateful for the example that my parents set for me. I am grateful for the realization that although one may not acquire exactly what they visualize and believe, that people from all walks of life will never be disadvantaged by believing that they deserve better, and that they can have it.
Sonya Melim lives in Pickering, Ont.