Hello, ladies!BRIAN SNYDER
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Life's Cruel Ironies Ron is sleeping on Harry's couch after leaving Hermione and their six children, the sixth of which looks a little too much like the Death Eater who lives on the next block. "Looks like Hermione is a bit of a Horcrux herself," Harry jokes to a drunken Ron, who proceeds to punch his old friend in the scar. Harry's wand, meanwhile, is less potent than it used to be, causing him to compensate by buying a souped-up broom that he barrels around town on while Ginny stays at home swallowing Prozac. Draco Malfoy is now president of the United States, and Hogwarts has been closed after an ugly incident involving a new boy, the inside of a wizard's robe and a handful of Confusing Concoction powder.
Approach Shots: Tiger Woods's Official Guide to Picking Up Women The golf star walks would-be Casanovas through his fail-safe repertoire of pickup lines, the very ones that have allowed him to seduce some of the world's most attractive cocktail and pancake-house waitresses. Lines like: "Hello!" "I look like him because I am him." "Can we get some more syrup over here, sweetie?" Yes, guys, pretty waitresses really do want to sleep with you. You just have to know what to say!! Let Tiger Woods teach you, and you'll be "scoring" like a Masters champ in no time!!!
Dick (and Not Afraid to Admit It): The Autobiography of a Repentant Former Vice-President, by Dick Cheney Dick Cheney takes a hard look at himself in his much-anticipated autobiography and comes to the same conclusion everyone else has: He's a total loser. If he could only take back the systematic abuse of basic rights and freedoms, the outing of a CIA agent for political purposes, the endorsement of torture, the rape of the environment, the manipulation of his country into a phony war and the security failures that led to 9/11, he would. But, as he candidly admits, he can't. "I'm such a screw-up," Cheney confesses. "Even I don't like myself."
Stop It: Stop It Now! by Malcolm Gladwell Not that he's going to, but it's still worth a shot.
Prorogue Leader: A New Hopelessness, by John Ralston Saul When you're the biggest thing in the universe, you can make your own rules. In this guest-written sequel to original Star Wars saga, the Rebel Alliance is determined to destroy Darth Harper. But just when the Alliance leaders think they have him cornered, the cunning and ruthless leader offers them two months' paid vacation. Unable to say no, they let him slip through their fingers once again. A departure for John Ralston Saul, and a welcome one.