Want to know who Sarah Silverman is without having to actually read her new memoir, The Bedwetter? These snippets from the book should do the trick (but seriously, read the book. It's very good).
- "A perceived fearlessness can sometimes be mistaken for what is actually gall."
- "Like Mozart, my destiny was evident at a very young age, and it would be only a brief twenty-five years later that I would get my own television show. Another way in which Mozart was like me: I'm pretty sure he thought farts were hilarious."
- "That's the whole trick when you're starting out as a stand-up comic - not to succumb to futility."
- "Those who know of me know that I love doody jokes, but that is very different than loving doody."
- "I'll be honest; I have contempt for pretty much every drug other than pot."
- "My stint at SNL was quick and painful. One might even compare it metaphorically to being stabbed in the head with a pencil."
- "I don't know how to dress myself. That's not my opinion, it's the opinion of those who matter most in America: the editors of Us Weekly magazine."
- "Comedians are almost universally tortured, and not even redeemed like normal writers are by being 'deep.'"
- "There is nothing more pointless, and nothing less funny, than defending your own material."
- "Adopting a persona at once ignorant and arrogant allowed me to say what I didn't mean, even preach the opposite of what I believed."
- "Everything that I enjoy, I seem to be able to do with two hands, a fork, and an iPhone."
- "My dark features and name both scream 'Jew' like an air-raid siren."
- "To be honest, I would like to go about my life exploiting the subject of Jewishness for comedy, and not be saddled with the responsibility to actually represent, defend, or advance the cause of the Jewish people."
- "Fart jokes make me happier than just about anything in the universe."