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The emotional and financial stress is real for the sandwich generation
The sandwich generation isn’t a literal generation, like Baby Boomers or Gen Z – it’s a term used to describe anyone who is “sandwiched” between aging parents and children, juggling the responsibility of caring for both. If you’ve ever struggled to make it to your child’s soccer game while also picking up your parent’s prescription from the pharmacy, you’re likely a member of this group.
With people generally living longer, and the fact that many young people are waiting longer to become parents, it is becoming more common for Canadians to find themselves managing both ends of the caregiving spectrum.
Nearly 30 per cent of Canadians provide care for a family member, friend, or neighbour, and nearly half will be caregivers at some point, according to the Canadian Medical Association Journal.
Caring for an aging parent offers many rewarding and meaningful moments, but it doesn’t come without its challenges. For those squeezed between generations, planning for the financial realities of being a caregiver and talking about its impact on your life can help you manage.
Here are some tips to help you keep your sanity and your savings intact.
1. Create a protocol with your parents
“Planning is critical. Supporting others should not mean sacrificing your financial well-being,” says Lana Robinson, Executive Director, CIBC Private Wealth. Ms. Robinson has seen many caregivers face financial and emotional challenges, particularly when it comes to understanding their parents’ plans. “What have they set aside financially?” she asks. “What are their wishes for their old age care? Do they want to stay in their home and receive care or move to a long-term care facility? How much will this cost?”
That’s the key word: cost. Discussing how much it will cost to care for your parents depending on what level of care they need can help you balance those budget decisions with expenses for your kids’ activities, registered education saving plan (RESP) contributions, and your own retirement savings goals. Plus, you’ll have a clearer view of your parents’ financial picture, what they can afford, and if you need to fill in any gaps.
To make these conversations more comfortable, Ms. Robinson suggests letting these discussions come up organically. Talk about the situation impacting a friend, colleague, or relative, and then eventually turn the conversation back to your family. Ask your parents about their experience: What was the situation with their parents? What worked? What do they wish they could have done differently? This can open the door to a broader conversation.
2. Call for backup
“Bringing in a spouse or other family members to help can be one critical step,” Ms. Robinson says. “Sharing the caregiving responsibilities with other family members can be critical for your self-care,” she explains, adding that many women often view caregiving as their obligation.
That can include children, too. Depending on their age, kids can help tackle simple household chores like tidying their room or loading the dishwasher. If they’re older, they could run errands or take their grandparents to appointments. Involving your children (even in a small way) can help foster a sense of responsibility and connection.
Outside of family, there are other places to look for help, like community caregiver programs. Sometimes they have reduced rates for services and support groups for family members where they can talk about their experiences.
In Ontario, for example, the Ontario Caregiver Organization has a 24/7 Ontario Caregiver Helpline, peer support groups, and online support. “These can be a great source of help but also for information about resources that are available,” Ms. Robinson says. “Explore these options fully to help you cope with the many demands on your time.”
3. Carve out time for you
While it may be easier said than done, it’s important to prioritize time for yourself.
Set realistic expectations for yourself and others and avoid the reflex to feel guilty if you want to say “no” to something. Whether it’s blocking out 30 minutes to exercise a few days a week or making it a point to read 10 pages of a book every day, taking the time to do something just for you can make a difference.
If you have young children and it’s hard to find moments for yourself, reach out to other parents who are in the same situation. You can help each other by looking after each other’s kids after school so that the other has a few hours to either recharge or to do a power hour and knock tasks off their to-do list.
4. Look for caregiver tax-relief options and government benefits
Several tax relief and government benefits are available to caregivers, from the Canada Caregiver Credit to the disability tax credit, to a host of tax credits for expenses, such as medical and home renovations. “An advisor or your tax professional will know about these credits and can steer you in the right direction,” Ms. Robinson says. This type of planning can potentially save you money in the long run when you need it most.
Doing your own financial planning can be difficult, and financial planning for three generations is even harder. Remember, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. It’s worthwhile to start early, think ahead, and lean on the expertise of professionals to put together a detailed plan.
Advertising feature provided by CIBC. The Globe and Mail’s editorial department was not involved.