Karen Sawyer, formerly an executive at BMO Financial Group, is enjoying life after retirement. She keeps busy with various volunteer roles, regular visits with her two-year-old grandson and spending time at home with her two cats and rescue dog Harper in Mississauga, Ont.Galit Rodan/The Globe and Mail
Since retiring from her financial services career a couple of years ago, Karen Sawyer has made a concerted effort to keep in touch with some of her former colleagues. Maintaining those workplace friendships was a key part of her retirement plan, alongside travel and volunteering.
“I was prepared to leave work. I wasn’t prepared to leave friendships,” says Ms. Sawyer, who retired in May, 2022 at 59, after more than 20 years working in customer loyalty at one of Canada’s big banks.
In a recent KPMG survey, 81 per cent of respondents said workplace friendships are “highly important” to them and 78 per cent said they provide positive mental health benefits.
The challenge some retirees have is staying connected to colleagues after they leave the workplace. Many retirees want to stay in touch but worry about having less in common with their former colleagues or aren’t sure if their workplace pals want to remain friends.
Friendships that transcend the workplace
It’s common for workplace friendships to change when one colleague retires, says Susan Latremoille, a partner at Next Chapter Lifestyle Advisors in Toronto.
“When you’re working together, you’re aligned on a purpose,” such as a client or a project, she says. “When that reason for being together falls away, where’s the glue that holds people together?”
Ms. Latremoille says retirees need to recognize the difference between acquaintances, colleagues and friendships at work so they’re not disappointed when there’s no post-career exchange of messages or social invitations.
“Friendships are the ones that transcend the workplace,” she says. “If people are going to maintain those friendships, there has to be some new purpose for them to stay together and outside of work.”
Ms. Latremoille says it’s often up to retirees to reach out to former colleagues, at least initially, to signal they want to keep up the connection.
“The tempo of life is different for someone retiring than someone working, so that should be acknowledged,” she says.
Ms. Sawyer believes the onus is on her to contact former colleagues with whom she wants to remain friends.
“I feel like, regardless of how busy I am in retirement, they’re much busier because they’re still working,” she says. “These are strong friendships that, in the end, went way beyond work. When you retire, you risk leaving all that behind. I had a strong desire not to lose that - and an awareness of how that could easily happen.”
To keep the connections alive, Ms. Sawyer usually takes selfies with friends when they meet. She then puts them in her revolving digital picture frame at home to remind her when it’s time to reach out to them again.
When she left work, Ms. Sawyer made a small poster with pictures of a dozen or so people she wanted to stay in touch with from the office. She checks it every few weeks as another cue that it’s time to reconnect.
“It just reminds me because, when you’re not going to work, you’re not thinking necessarily of these people all the time, and vice versa,” she says.
Staying connected to colleagues - and your career
Since retiring in October, Lesley Egan has tried to stay connected to her colleagues at Ottawa Civic Hospital, where she was a neonatal nurse. Maintaining social connections is more important to her than any hobby in retirement.
“I’m a social person. I don’t need a hobby. I like people. I can sit for 90 minutes with someone I want to spend time with,” she says.
Ms. Egan also believes it’s up to her to reach out and organize coffee or brunch with former co-workers every few weeks.
“They’re busy working and aren’t thinking about me as much because I’m not there. You have to be motivated if you want to maintain those friendships,” Ms. Egan says. “Even when you’re working, it’s hard to get together.
Not only does she want to keep up with her former coworkers, but Ms. Egan - who got into nursing in her mid-40s after working for more than two decades in financial services - also wants to stay connected to the second career that’s a big part of her identity.
“When people say, ‘What did you do?’ The first thing I say ‘I was a nurse.’ I’m a wife and mother as well, but I was happy being a nurse. My mother was a nurse, too,” she says.
Ms. Sawyer says retirees shouldn’t get discouraged if their invitations go unanswered. She’ll send reminders and give up only if there’s no reciprocal effort over a long period of time.
“Sometimes, when I reach out, I’ll hear things like, ‘I’m so happy to hear from you,’ and you’ll find out that they’ve been going through a hard time, or just life has gotten in the way,” she says.
“Don’t give up on those people,” she adds, “because when you get together, you may realize that not only do you need them in your life, but it’s likely they also need you.”