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THE QUESTION
I work on a team of four juniors and my manager has a clear favourite. I see them hanging out often, getting coffee or having lunch together, when I suspect she’s giving the junior employee guidance on how to move ahead. This favourite gets all the best tasks, which makes her look like a better and higher-performing worker, but from my view I think the four of us juniors are pretty equally skilled. There’s a senior position opening up on the team and it’s a role that I really want, but I can tell my manager is going to put her favourite forward. I enjoy my job and I like the company, but I feel like I’m never going to get a chance to progress if my manager is helping other people succeed. What should I do?
THE FIRST ANSWER
Bill Howatt, chief mental health officer and founder, Howatt Human Resources Inc., Halifax
It’s natural to feel discouraged when workplace dynamics seem unfair. Favouritism, whether intentional or not, can erode team morale and create barriers to advancement. Before jumping to conclusions, consider initiating a respectful conversation with your manager. Express your interest in the senior role and ask for feedback on how you can grow into it. This shifts the focus from comparison to personal development.
It’s also helpful to document your contributions and achievements. By building a clear case for your readiness, you give your manager tangible evidence of your value. If the opportunity to apply for the senior role is formalized, ensure your application reflects your skills, accomplishments and commitment.
Favouritism can stem from unconscious bias or comfort with certain personalities. While you can’t control your manager’s preferences, you can control how you show up. Stay professional, collaborative and focused on your goals. If the pattern persists and limits your growth, consider seeking mentorship outside your team or exploring other internal opportunities.
Ultimately, your career trajectory should be shaped by your performance and potential, not by proximity to power. Advocating for yourself with clarity and confidence is a skill worth developing. It may not change your manager’s behaviour overnight, but it positions you as someone who takes initiative and is serious about their career.
THE SECOND ANSWER
Neha Khurram, talent consultant, Coach Neha & Co., Toronto
It’s great to hear you enjoy your job and company. That’s a strong foundation for long-term growth. What you’re describing is a frustrating but common experience in team dynamics. Favouritism, whether intentional or not, can make capable employees feel invisible. The key here is to be strategic rather than resentful. Instead of focusing on what your manager may be doing for someone else, focus on what’s within your control: your work’s visibility, personal initiative and proactive communication.
Observe what behaviours might be contributing to your peer’s influence. Perhaps they proactively seek feedback, volunteer for stretch projects or cultivate rapport through informal conversations. You can mirror some of those actions authentically and learn from your peer. In addition, request a one-on-one with your manager to express your interest in the upcoming senior role. Ask about what skills or outcomes they value most for that position and how you can strengthen those areas.
If the promotion ultimately goes to the favourite person on the team, take the long view. Be gracious and congratulate them. Also, be sure to ask your manager what experiences you could pursue next to prepare for future openings. Often, leaders remember professionalism in moments of disappointment more than anything else. Continue doing excellent work, broaden your network within the company and cultivate allies beyond your direct manager. Over time, building social capital within the organization, showing up consistently and maturely tends to outshine perceived favouritism. So when the next opportunity arises, you’ll already be seen as ready for leadership.
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