Dr. Andrea Wojnicki is a Harvard-educated executive communication coach, keynote speaker and host of the acclaimed “Talk About Talk” podcast.
There’s no question, successful leaders are exceptional communicators.
Recently, I realized that this specific topic of how successful leaders communicate differently is one that I seldom read about. My coaching clients also rarely ask me about this topic. The topic of “executive presence” comes close, but I’m more likely to be asked to coach folks on areas such as overcoming imposter syndrome, how to introduce yourself, formal presentation skills or storytelling.
Based on my coaching experience, podcast interviews and research, I have some unique insight into the specific communication skills that distinguish the most successful leaders from everyone else.
If you are hungry to ascend to a position of leadership, I encourage you to consider these three suggestions:
Communicate with intent and precision
I vividly recall being in my 20s, a recent business school graduate, sitting around the boardroom table with my boss and her boss. If you could read my thought bubble, you’d see that I was relentlessly focused on speaking up. In fact, I made a rule for myself that I had to speak up at least once in every meeting.
Have you ever noticed, though, that successful leaders never struggle with this idea of speaking up? In fact, it seems like it’s quite the opposite.
There’s definitely a pattern in the topics that my clients seek coaching on. More junior folks typically look for help with speaking up and getting airtime. More senior folks seek coaching on brevity and clarity.
Instead of focusing on speaking up in meetings and filling the air, successful leaders are focused on intent and precision. Every word, question and story has a purpose, whether it’s to inspire, clarify or align. They do so with precision.
Next-level listening
Listening may be the most under-appreciated communication skill. Why? Because when we think about communication skills, most of us think about projecting. We focus on things such as our voice, formal presentation skills and perceptions of our body language.
Another way that successful leaders communicate differently than everyone else is their next-level listening. Less successful folks might listen intently to their boss, but it’s only to know what their boss is looking for. They might also listen passively in meetings, politely waiting for their turn to talk.
Meanwhile, successful leaders listen to understand, not to respond. They listen deeply for insights. They reflect back on what they hear and they ask clarifying questions.
The successful leaders I coach consciously recognize that they do not know it all. Therefore, they must listen deeply to their team members so that they can make important decisions.
Confidence without arrogance
A third way that successful leaders communicate differently from everyone else is their ability to project confidence and credibility without arrogance.
More junior, early-career workers are typically focused on overcoming imposter syndrome. This relates to the confidence of speaking up, as I mentioned above. Early in our careers, we’re more likely to feel anxious and nervous.
With time and experience, most of us evolve from anxious and nervous to more confident and assured. Some people tip the scales and become arrogant. These arrogant leaders are the close-minded ones who think they know everything.
In my experience, arrogance is rare. I can count the arrogant leaders I’ve coached on one hand. Interestingly, these people all knew they were perceived as arrogant, but they denied it.
“Andrea, my boss said that I can come across as arrogant, but really, I’m not arrogant,” said a client to me.
Here’s the test: If you’re worried that you might come across as arrogant, then in all likelihood you do not. It’s those leaders who never worry about arrogance who are arrogant. And, if you’ve been told that you come across as arrogant, then you probably are. Perception is reality.
Confidence without arrogance is key to credible leadership. We are inspired to follow the confident, credible folks. I like to think of a confidence continuum. On one end, we have paralyzing anxiety. On the other extreme, we have arrogance. In the middle, we have an ideal equilibrium of confidence. This is where successful leaders sit.
The secret to achieving this confidence equilibrium is a growth mindset. If you’re focused on growing and learning, your anxiety will dissipate. If you’re open-minded and growing, then you’re definitely not arrogant.
No matter what level or stage you are in your career, I encourage you to focus your mindset on growing and learning. This means seeking feedback, truly listening, seeking growth and improvement. Ultimately, this can be what propels you to successful leader status.
Now that you’ve learned these ways that successful leaders communicate differently, you’ll see evidence of them all the time. My challenge to you is to evaluate yourself on these three dimensions and identify where you can focus so you can get yourself one step closer to successful leader status.
This column is part of Globe Careers’ Leadership Lab series, where executives and experts share their views and advice about the world of work. Find all Leadership Lab stories at tgam.ca/leadershiplab and guidelines for how to contribute to the column here.