ChrisGorgio/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
Interested in more careers-related content? Check out our new weekly Work Life newsletter. Sent every Monday afternoon.
Psychotherapist Amy Morin says many of us hold misconceptions about mental strength and how it can help us in the workplace.
For some, mental strength is about suppressing emotions and avoiding anything that would make them look weak. Others figure it’s about how much pain they can endure. Suffering becomes evidence of progress, as they push to the limits and punish themselves for perceived mistakes and shortcomings.
“But mental strength isn’t about denying feelings or pushing through pain at all costs. It’s about learning how to manage your thoughts, feelings and behaviours in a way that helps you achieve your goals and live according to your values,” she writes in The Mental Strength Playbook.
She also questions the notion that mental strength is synonymous with resilience. Resilience is about bouncing back from setbacks and adversity, which is important. But mental strength is about more than just surviving tough times; it’s about thriving in all areas of your life at all times, good or bad.
We need mental strength at work, given we have less control than in our personal lives. We don’t decide who our teammates are, our manager assigns tasks and the rules of the game are set by the organization. But she also says that makes work a great place to learn to build mental strength.
Start with what she calls “confidence catalysts,” which help you defend against insecurity and self doubt. Confidence is a mindset, a skill you can sharpen and strengthen. Here are five confidence boosters she recommends:
- Act as if: Step into the role of the confident version of yourself. At a time when you feel confidence waning, pause and ask yourself: If I were fully confident right now, what would I do? Picture how you’d behave – how would you stand, what would you say, what energy would you channel into the situation? “The beauty of the act-as-if play is that it’s incredibly simple. You can take one small step to become a little more like the person you want to be. You don’t need to fake it in an over-the-top unnatural way that would cause you to cringe. Instead, look for opportunities to put the most confident version of you forward,” she writes.
- Name your inner critic: Give a name to the inner narrator telling you that you’re not good enough. Maybe Mean Marge or Timid Tim or Cynical Simon. This trick makes it less an element of your core identity and more an external party to the situation. “When you realize that harsh inner voice is just noise – not an accurate reflection of who you are – you’re less likely to take it personally,” she says.
- Channel your alter ego: Borrow the mindset of someone brave – maybe your grandmother, who always stayed calm under pressure, an admirable boss or someone famous. Ms. Morin notes that Beyoncé created an alter ego, “Sasha Fierce,” the fearless, bold persona who helped her to overcome early career stage fright. Adele also adopted a persona to calm her nerves when facing giant audiences during her early performances. Think of someone who exhibits the qualities you need to get past daunting limiting beliefs in your own life.
- Visit your victory vault: Reflect on your past wins to remind yourself you’re capable. To do this, make a list of some of your biggest achievements, surprising wins and best comeback stories, along with lessons earned and how it proved your strength. Keep it handy for revisiting when needed.
- Give yourself a pep talk: Speak to yourself like a coach motivating a sports team. After all, if it works for professional athletes, why not for you? Pause for a moment of stillness, take a deep breath, acknowledge the challenges and then find the words to help you believe in yourself. “When self-doubt takes over, it’s easy to spiral into unhelpful thoughts that drain your confidence and sabotage your efforts. Giving yourself a motivational pep talk interrupts that spiral and shifts your focus back to all the reasons you might succeed,” she says.
Quick hits
- Atomic Habits author James Clear warns it’s not your job to tell yourself no: The world will offer plenty of obstacles and you don’t need to add to them.
- Most workplace conflict feels urgent. You want to explain yourself, defend your idea. But consultants Karin Hurt and David Dye say instead of reacting emotionally and trying to win, ask what does this conversation need right now? Usually it will be connection, clarity, curiosity or commitment.
- When travelling to a new city, productivity writer Laura Vanderkam urges you not to fuss over which hotel to pick. Most hotels within a certain budget range are similar, so choose one in the right neighbourhood rather than wasting time trying to optimize.
Harvey Schachter is a Kingston-based writer specializing in management issues. He, along with Sheelagh Whittaker, former CEO of both EDS Canada and Cancom, are the authors of When Harvey Didn’t Meet Sheelagh: Emails on Leadership.