Eileen Dooley is a talent and leadership development specialist, and a leadership coach, based in Calgary
The postpandemic hybrid work environment has spawned some bad habits, especially around online meetings.
While some could be forgiven a few years ago, some disrespectful ones are now being accepted as normal, which is not only eroding the effectiveness of online meetings but of basic meeting etiquette. For example, the pesky Chat feature.
You know the button at the bottom of your Zoom, Teams or Webex screen that enables participants to message each other throughout the discussion or presentation. It’s essentially an outlet for side conversations or impulse comments which, quite frankly, have no place in work meeting. It’s the equivalent of talking on top of others, passing secret notes or making hand or facial gestures across a physical meeting table.
In an online meeting, the presenter can see when someone has sent a Chat message because the icon lights up and is pushed to the forefront, making it clear someone else would like attention for a second. The word Chat alone suggests that it’s a place to talk whenever you feel like it.
For many, hosting a meeting is intimidating, especially when you have senior people on the call. Feeling their time is especially valuable; you need to stay focused, making good use of every minute. Once the Chat feature is activated it’s game over.
Unless the host is really good at ignoring distractions, the Chat will throw them off and they will likely turn their attention to what the Chat comment is about.
Sadly, it usually has nothing to do with the meeting. It is about someone’s new hair colour or a “welcome back from vacation – nice tan” message. It could also be a meme such as a GIF of a baby saying “Yesss” signalling they agree with you. You aren’t sure what they agree with because the group has now moved on to other messages that are flooding the Chat, which can take the form of the inevitable heart, hand clap and thumbs-up icons.
Other typical Chat messages include comments somewhat related to the topic, such as adding an additional tidbit of information so everyone believes you are paying attention.
Finally, let us not forget the message “I have to jump five minutes early,” which doesn’t matter because the meeting is wrapping up.
This brings us to the next point – pretending to focus. I’m referring to people who think showing up for the meeting is enough and that no one will notice if they are doing something else, such as checking and responding to e-mails. They even respond to e-mails from the meeting host. The cell phone is nearby and never turned off so with all the notifications popping up, not to mention the temptation to play a quick game of Solitaire, focusing is next to impossible, but no one can tell right? Wrong. We know.
One more bad habit is when someone in attendance keeps their camera off. I have heard of entire teams doing this, with only the meeting host on camera. It’s almost the equivalent of having your head down, sleeping on the meeting table.
What’s worse is that these behaviours go into overdrive when the meeting is recorded for the people who didn’t attend and are most likely not going to watch the recording. People seem to think that if it is recorded, they can pay even less attention, thinking they will refer to the recording if needed.
I don’t long for the prepandemic days of working in the office all the time, but I do miss a few courtesies that we had in meetings. All bad habits can be broken, it just takes time and commitment. It also takes an understanding of how your actions are affecting others.
Rule No. 1: Stop using the Chat. Just stop. If you need to toss a document in the Chat, do it after the person has stopped presenting. Raise your hand if you want to talk. Don’t put your comment in the Chat. If you have to think twice about a comment being better for the Chat than voicing it, then it probably has little value for the meeting.
Rule No. 2: Focus on your meeting and nothing else. Stop multi-tasking because it only displays a lack of respect for the person talking. We all know when someone is not paying attention – typically their screen eyes wander as they are looking at another screen, phone, answering e-mails or doing other work. Keep your gaze at the presenter.
Rule No. 3: Show up visually. Unless you have a good reason for being off camera, have the decency of showing your face. We can blur backgrounds or put other filters in the background, so the tidiness of your home office doesn’t matter. Having your camera off sends the message you aren’t engaged, don’t want to be there or both.
Before you take your next online meeting, think about how your actions would play out if it were in person. Would we tolerate people talking over each other, passing private notes, clapping and making heart signs, taking phone calls, sleeping on the table, turning their back to the group or just getting up to leave when they feel like it? Probably not.