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THE QUESTION
I’m in my 50s and my company just hired a new department manager who I suspect is 10 or 15 years younger than me. I can see that this person is talented and has an impressive resume. But, so far, I can tell we have a very different style of working, which concerns me.
I’ll admit that I’m a little annoyed that I was passed over for this job, too. But more importantly, I’m worried that it’ll be challenging to report to someone who is so much younger and so different than me. Any suggestions on how I can navigate this situation successfully?
THE FIRST ANSWER
Dr. Candy Ho, researcher and educational studies instructor, Kwantlen Polytechnic University and board member, CERIC, Burnaby, B.C.
First of all, it’s completely human to feel uneasy in this situation. When someone younger steps into a role you hoped for, it can trigger a mix of disappointment, self-doubt and uncertainty about what the future looks like. At the same time, it can also be an opportunity to reset, build a strong working relationship and reaffirm your own value.
Start by separating the role from the relationship. You weren’t chosen for the position, but that doesn’t diminish the experience, institutional memory and professional judgment you bring. Your new manager likely knows they’re stepping into a leadership role with people who have far more tenure and they may be just as nervous about earning your trust.
A strategy I recommend is to initiate a conversation focused on shared expectations. Keep it simple: ask how they prefer to communicate, what success looks like in the department and how your strengths can best support the team’s goals. Position yourself as a partner they can turn to.
It also helps to stay curious. Generational and stylistic differences can be frustrating, but they can also spark innovation. Notice what this manager does well and consider how their approach might complement your own. Likewise, don’t underestimate the stabilizing force of your experience; many younger leaders appreciate seasoned colleagues who can offer context, anticipate pitfalls and act as thought partners.
Finally, give yourself space to acknowledge the disappointment of being passed over. Then reflect on what you want next: new responsibilities, skill development or a pathway toward leadership. Your career isn’t defined by this moment; rather, it’s shaped by how you respond.
THE SECOND ANSWER
Julie Labrie, President, BlueSky Personnel Solutions, Toronto
I completely understand feeling disappointed about being passed over and uncertain about this new dynamic. Those feelings are valid, but there might be an opportunity to shift your perspective in a way that could benefit you.
Your company chose this person for specific reasons – their skills and experience aligned with what leadership felt the department needed right now. Being younger doesn’t mean they’re less qualified. They earned this role on merit and recognizing that from the start will help you move forward positively.
Instead of focusing on your differences, think about how your strengths can complement theirs. You bring valuable institutional knowledge, established relationships and years of experience that can’t be learned overnight. Your new manager offers fresh perspectives and different expertise. Together, you could make a pretty great team.
I encourage you to reach out early and schedule a friendly one-on-one. Share what you’re good at, what you know about the department and genuinely ask how you can support their goals. This simple gesture positions you as an ally and collaborator rather than someone who’s resistant to their leadership.
Making this person your ally instead of focusing on what divides you will transform your day-to-day work experience. They could become one of your biggest advocates and might open doors you hadn’t even considered. The best managers value team members who bring experience and a collaborative spirit.
Give this relationship a genuine chance. You might be pleasantly surprised by how rewarding it becomes.
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