Canada’s premiers gather in the Mayflower Hotel in Washington after meeting with two senior officials in U.S. President Donald Trump’s administration to discuss potential tariffs on Canadian exports south of the border, on Feb. 12.Ben Curtis/The Associated Press
“The Tank” is the nickname for the Pentagon conference room reserved for meetings of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the senior leadership of the U.S. Armed Forces. I got a tour of the Pentagon during the first Trump administration, and in addition to learning many fascinating things from the lieutenant-colonel who was our guide – the world’s second-largest building was erected in just 16 months, and has so many bathrooms because it was designed as a racially segregated facility – I even went into The Tank. It was (obviously) not in use at the time.
As tales of privileged access go, I admit it’s not much of a story. But it’s more than Canada’s premiers can say about their “hearing” at the White House.
They came out crowing like they’d pulled off a diplomatic coup. “People don’t get last-minute meetings like this and we’re very grateful,” said Ontario Premier Doug Ford, flanked by Quebec Premier François Legault and Saskatchewan Premier Scott Moe. “It just shows the relationship that we have and the respect they have for Canada.”
That spin didn’t last the afternoon. It turns out this was more like that scene in American Psycho when Patrick Bateman tried to pretend that he’d somehow landed a table at Dorsia. Spoiler alert: He hadn’t.
Our provincial and territorial heads of government spent an hour going through security, just like the other hicks from the sticks on the tourist hop-on/hop-off bus. Then they had their VIP meeting with … hang on, let me check my notes … ah yes, the “White House deputy chief of staff for legislative affairs” and the “White House director of personnel.”
Gosh, was the deputy director of catering services (desserts and canapés) otherwise occupied?
Anyone who thinks the people they met are the decision-makers on tariffs is a prime customer for a new condo in the Trump Mar-a-Gaza casino. Hurry, get your deposit in now, this deal won’t last.
The premiers would have done better to have taken the public tour. They might have learned some valuable trivia, like how we burned the place down in 1814. And they wouldn’t have been humiliated by this follow-up from their junior varsity host, deputy chief of staff James Blair, who, clearly in fear of his boss, tweeted: “To be clear, we never agreed that Canada would not be the 51st state.”
That was Wednesday. Put it in the rear-view mirror.
Canada’s governments have two big jobs to tackle on relations with the U.S. They must continue trying to persuade President Donald Trump against hitting Canada with economy-wide tariffs, which would disintegrate the integrated North American market. At the same time, they must, with great urgency, prepare for persuasion to fail.
A charm offensive is part of the persuasion campaign. What the premiers did at the White House was not that; it was more like trying to ask the popular girl to the prom by making the pitch to her best friend’s cousin’s neighbour. Good luck. Hope you get a refund on the corsage.
Canada’s most valuable player in the public part of the charm offensive has been Mr. Ford. He was wrong-footed on Wednesday – as Elon Musk said the other day, nobody bats a thousand – but he’s been exceptionally effective in his appearances on American television, particularly on CNBC (where perhaps half the viewers are Trump voters) and Fox News (where all are).
If Mr. Ford were not on the verge of re-election, he’d be an ideal Canadian ambassador to the Trump administration – and perhaps more importantly, MAGA voters. His consistent U.S. TV message is that America is great, Make America Great Again is a great idea, and Canada just wants to be a friend and ally to all this greatness.
Mr. Ford is love-bombing conservative Americans. And why not? If you want to persuade someone to change their mind, start with how they’re right, and how you’re on their side. It’s a lot more effective than the opposite.
Canada has to work traditional diplomatic channels – on Wednesday, federal Finance Minister Dominic LeBlanc met with incoming Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick, a meeting that got far less coverage than the premiers’ fiasco – while also reaching out to U.S. public opinion. Trump voters are willing to pay a price to better compete with China, but nobody signed up for a trade war on Canada. The more they know about it, the less they’ll like it.
A steady diet of Canadian charm, accompanied by a side of threats, may yet win the day. Then again, Mr. Trump could be determined to spend the next four years breaking continental supply chains and blocking Canadian exports. We have to fight for the status quo – while preparing for the possibility that it’s already ancient history.