Readers asked Erin about what she learned speaking to these happy Canadians, and how to keep your spirits up in the face of adversity.Illustration by Nada Hayek/The Globe and Mail
On Jan. 28, The Globe and Mail’s happiness reporter Erin Anderssen answered reader questions about her feature on the “happiest people in Canada.” In the feature, she asked Canadians to send in the names of the happiest people they know. Across the country, friends, family and co-workers responded with more than a hundred nominations – young and old, from a range of backgrounds and professions, living in cities and small towns across the country.
Readers asked Erin about what she learned speaking to these happy Canadians, what they all had in common, what lessons she learned from them, and how people can overcome negativity.
Here are some highlights from the Q+A.
What we can learn from the happiest Canadians
What did all the happy Canadians you spoke to have in common? Can happiness be quantified in one thing they all did?
Erin Anderssen: Don’t we all wish happiness, however we define it, could be quantified into that one thing! I know I do. All the people I interviewed for this piece shared overlapping advice, but they followed it in their own unique way. I think that was the common lesson: they all were universally thoughtful about their values and priorities, and intentional about finding meaning and purpose, creating moments of joy, looking for positive hidden in the negative. They had taken the time to know themselves and what mattered to them.
Where can we find the happiest people in Canada, and how are they sharing their love, joy, happiness and peace with those around them? What do their communities look, sound and feel like?
Anderssen: First where can we find them: I would say look around - who is the happiest person you know, and what can you learn from them. Or if the “happiest” is hard, I have also been thinking of positive qualities in my friends I admire that I want to emulate.
Secondly, most of the people I interviewed for this piece were volunteering in their communities or had jobs that had been about caring, improving the world, or bolstering happiness. Also, they were clearly spreading their own happiness - otherwise we’d never have learned their name. Given the happy feeling I gained from talking to them, their positivity seems pretty contagious.
The question of community is probably part of other stories I have written or plan to write. Certainly, we know, and research shows, that places where trust and social connection are high, where people have a chance to meet and gather in green space, and feel supported and valued, have higher levels of well-being.
Which story impacted you the most? Do you have any other stories that didn’t make it to the published article?
Anderssen: I really learned different lessons from every interview I did. But one of the people who wasn’t in the main story, although I hope to include her in a future piece, was Noortje Kunnen, who at 47, is facing stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She talked about looking for beauty and delight, even when life was really lousy. That could be moments that seem so small - a funny meme from a friend, a quirky thing her puppy was doing. Happiness was about being content in the moment. It reminded me that we often spend so many time chasing the future, or worrying about what might happen, that we forget to value the here and now. I am trying to remember her advice every day. And sometimes, I am even successful.
How do the happiest people address negativity around them?
Anderssen: I can’t remember who said this to me, but I think it was something like: the only person you can control is yourself and the only reaction you can change is yours. Life is full of critics, but you get a say in how you respond to them.
When reading through the submissions, was there a difference in how the friends of the happy Canadians described them, versus how they described themselves?
Anderssen: When I started calling up the people who had been named by a friend, or a family member or a co-worker, I had no idea what to expect. Did people get them right? The subjects were always super chuffed that they were seen like this by someone. And I learned, from my first batch of random interviews, that the “nominators” were very accurate: we know happiness when we see it. But the subjects would never describe themselves in such glowing terms. Because, of course, one of the secrets of happiness is humility.
Is there anything you learned while writing this article that you now practice in your day-to-day life?
Anderssen: So many things I try to do, always imperfectly. But I also learned that from the “happiest people,” there is no “perfect happiness.”
I now say good morning/afternoon when I pass people closely on the street. It’s weird, right, that we just step around each other as if we’re invisible. People sometime look at me oddly at first, and then smile and say it back. It makes the dog walks a lot more fun.
And speaking of fun - that is also advice I really took to heart. To make having fun an intentional happiness intervention. Trying new things, and just being silly was a way for many of the people I interviewed to develop connections, to learn not to worry what others might think (too much of that is “the death of happiness,” one subject told me) and practice joy.
Tips from the happiness reporter
What do you say to the bereaved about finding happiness? I think I am the kind of person you could count on when life was lousy, and who is resilient when facing adversity. But for many people whose loved ones have died, even years ago, grief is such that true happiness remains elusive. There is a weight that will never be lifted.
Anderssen: This is a very thoughtful question and one I have considered myself. I wrote about dealing with grief a few years ago in a piece about my husband’s brother, Kelly Crouse, who died in a fishing boat accident when he was just 16.
My partner has been a minister for more than 25 years, and has cared for many grieving families. Grief experiences, he says, are like fingerprints – no two are the same. You never get over losing someone you love, you only learn to carry them with you in a different way. Certainly, the people I interviewed for this story had not been spared grief – they faced the death of a parent at a young age, illness and divorce. It was often that pain that clarified their understanding of what mattered most to them in life, an ingredient of happiness.
How do we maintain happiness through big life transitions like retirement?
Anderssen: I have that very question on my story list. I can speak to what the people in the story told me and what the research says. The most important ingredient for a happy retirement (and life) is social connection - having friends and making new ones. Also, the older people I have talked to for other stories would stress staying curious and trying new things. Some of them specifically talked about never say no to an invitation - however reluctant they might first feel.
Unfortunately, I don’t think being happy comes naturally to me. I admire that others have a zest for life without having to expend much effort.
Anderssen: When my husband first heard about my new happiness beat, he had plenty of jokes. In our house, I am the pessimist. So I doubt I got the happiness gene in full measure. And maybe the people I interviewed had that edge. But they would never say that happiness “came naturally,” or without effort. They definitely put the time in. And maybe no one more than Vicki Emlaw who forgave her ex-partner for his relationship with one of her friend shortly after they split. “Happiness doesn’t fall on your lap,” she said. “You have to work for it.” That’s what this pessimist is now doing: working for it.
What is it like being a happiness reporter in a time where there isn’t a lot to be happy about?
Anderssen: When I pitched this beat, I wanted to approach stories differently, to find connections in our lives and the world with the science and public policy issue around happiness, that might help us manage and even respond to the anxiety-inducing concerns I also have about climate change, the erosion of democracy, the unending war in the Ukraine. I put this very question to Karin Hurtz, who is living an eco-friendly life in Manitoba. And she shared a parable told by the Quechuan people of South America.
I will quote my story: A hummingbird is trying to put out a forest fire one drop of water at time, when a bear comes along, and asks, “What’s that going to accomplish?”
And the hummingbird answers, “I am doing what I can.”
This question has stayed with me ever since Ms. Hurst and I first spoke: Do I want to be the hopeless bear, or the persistent hummingbird?