The Globe and Mail
The best way to lead happy life is to help others. That is real wisdom. - His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Recently I visited the National Museum of Archaeology in Valletta, Malta. The museum exhibits a spectacular range of artefacts dating back to Malta’s Neolithic period (5000 BC). One of the exhibits is a picture of a human femur. It is accompanied by the following description:
A student once asked anthropologist Margaret Mead, “What is the earliest sign of civilization?” The student expected her to say a clay pot, a grinding stone, or maybe a weapon. Margaret Mead thought for a moment, then she said, “A healed femur.”
A femur is the longest bone in the body, linking hip to knee. In societies without the benefits of modern medicine, it takes about six weeks of rest for a fractured femur to heal. A healed femur shows that someone cared for the injured person, did their hunting and gathering, stayed with them, and offered physical protection and human companionship until the injury could mend.
Mead explained that where the law of the jungle – the survival of the fittest – rules, no healed femurs are found. The first sign of civilization is compassion, seen in a healed femur.
Evolution is often viewed through the lens of “survival of the fittest,” a phrase suggesting that selfishness and egoism are inherent in human nature. While frequently linked to Charles Darwin, the term was introduced by Herbert Spencer. Contrary to this interpretation, Darwin emphasized the importance of empathy and co-operation in evolutionary success. He wrote, “Communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best and rear the greatest number of offspring.” [1]
This perspective highlights the role of connection and care for others in human well-being, alongside competition. In recent years, compassion has gained significant attention as a key aspect of interpersonal sensitivity. There exists a growing body of research on how compassion, including self-compassion as well as compassion for others, enhances both personal and social well-being.
Before we take a deep dive into the concept of compassion, there are some related terms that require definition. Altruism refers to behaviour that is voluntary and intended to benefit others, be they animal or man, even at the risk of harming oneself. A fundamental motivating force of altruism is empathy. Empathy and compassion are part of the same feeling continuum that impels us to reach out to a fellow being, be it human or animal. Many people use empathy and sympathy interchangeably. However, they are not the same. Sympathy is the relief we feel in not having the same problem. Empathy is the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.
Compassion is generally defined as a tender response to the perception of another’s distress. Compassion moves human beings from observation to action. The focus is on actively trying to alleviate or prevent suffering. Cultures like ours in the West prioritize independence and individualism while those in the East tend to emphasize collectivism and the welfare of others. The latter tend to have higher levels of compassion and behaviour which promotes social acceptance and friendship [2].
Compassion is also highly influenced by context, as we tend to show greater compassion toward family, friends and, generally, toward people who look like us. However, historical atrocities such as slavery, lynchings, the Armenian genocide, the Holocaust, the list is unfortunately rather long, and the widespread presence of domestic abuse, bullying and rape vividly illustrate how easily some individuals, thank goodness not all, can be provoked into acting with extreme cruelty instead of compassion.
In my travels, I have often found that regular people, “salt of the earth” people, as opposed to educated, well-off individuals, were the kindest and most generous, willing to help or share their meagre possessions. This is surprising, because from a logical point of view, a richer person would be more compassionate, given that they can help others at a lower cost to themselves. Yet my experience proved the opposite. Now, I discover that there is research which supports my experiences and suggests that individuals from working-class backgrounds often exhibit greater sensitivity to the distress and needs of others, which tends to make them more compassionate. Their compassion often reflects an understanding of shared struggles and a desire to ease the burdens of others [2].
Evolution excels at conserving biological traits that enhance survival while adapting them for new purposes over time. Much of what distinguishes humans from other species has arisen through subtle modifications in the way genes are reused leading to gradual neurophysiological changes and the development of complex cognitive abilities [3]. This is particularly applicable in the area of caring for their young. The quality of care and compassion that we humans and most animals engage in has crucial psychological and physiological effects. Receiving compassionate care during early life shapes epigenetic development [4] and a wide range of physiological and neurophysiological systems [5] such as the immune system [6]. It affects brain development [7] and various psychological processes, including emotion regulation and self-confidence [8].
Human compassion relies on advanced reasoning abilities such as self-awareness, symbolic thinking, the capacity for understanding others’ mental states (mentalizing) and predicting future outcomes based on past experiences [2].
Compassion involves two related modules – an arousal module, and a higher-order self-regulation module. Arousal on witnessing an event that elicits compassion involves increased heart rate and nausea, symptoms often experienced during personal threat or pain. The self-control component refers to the ability to manage one’s impulses, emotions and behaviours to achieve long-term goals. Self-control is primarily rooted in the prefrontal cortex – the planning, problem-solving, and decision-making centre of the brain – which is significantly larger in humans than in other mammals [9]. It should be noted that the prefrontal cortex is also involved in attachment behaviours and recognition of familiar faces [10], which are essential for bonding and attachment.
Neurohormonal systems originally adapted to motivate parental care have, over millions of years, been repurposed to support generalized forms of care, empathy and compassion. Caring plays a pivotal place in our lives. Caring is all around us and is manifested in diverse settings such as parenting, adoption, mentoring, teaching, friendship, volunteering, even gardening [2]. Compassion is rooted in self-understanding, integrity and the capacity to love. Also, compassion requires courage and dedication.
In 2019, Professor Yoesoep Edhie Rachmad identified the necessity of creating a comprehensive, scientifically based Compassion Theory [11]. This theory is built on the foundations of empathy and action, emphasizing the importance of actively engaging with others and offering continuous support in social exchanges. Compassion Theory serves as a framework for individuals and organizations across diverse social and cultural settings to foster environments that promote compassion and solidarity. When applied effectively, it can enhance the quality of life and social well-being for everyone involved.
The challenge facing our society, especially in parenting and education, is how to foster this compassion across all areas of life, whether within us or in our relationships. Educational institutions around the world are teaming up with experts on Buddhist compassion scriptures to develop secular and contemporary compassion training programs. The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University offers an eight-week compassion course. Similarly, Emory University offers cognitively based compassion training.
These courses have shown some interesting findings. In addition to a reduction in activation of brain regions responsible for the arousal component, compassion training also led to increased mindfulness and happiness as well as decreased worry. Engagement of prefrontal cortex regions responsible for the self-regulation aspect of compassion also increased after compassion training. Compassion training of parents found reductions in several laboratory-based measurements of stress, such as cortisol, in their infants and young children.
As we all know compassion is at the centre of Buddhist philosophy as well as of most religions. Thomas Merton was an American Trappist monk, writer, theologian, poet, social activist and scholar of comparative religion. He is the author of more than 50 books [12]. Merton pioneered dialogues with prominent Asian spiritual leaders, including the Dalai Lama. On his final journey through Asia, he was impressed by the Dalai Lama’s youthful energy and compassion [13]. His Holiness expressed his belief that meditation allowed one to increase one’s capacity for compassion [14]. The Dalai Lama has famously said, “For someone to develop genuine compassion towards others, first he or she must have ... the ability to connect to one’s own feelings and to care for one’s own welfare. ... Caring for others requires caring for oneself.“[15]. It appears that Western science is slowly uncovering the salutary effects that practising compassion has on both those who give it and those who receive it.
Not all science requires heavy lifting or deep thought. Case in point is a study conducted by Natalia Kononov at Tel Aviv University that found that improving one’s appearance can affect behaviours beyond aesthetics, especially in areas such as kindness and charitable actions. Dr. Kononov explains: “Our society is obsessively focused on physical appearance while simultaneously criticizing this superficial behaviour. We show that this behaviour can have positive spillover effects that benefit others.” Virtual experiments demonstrated that imagining oneself at their most attractive increased generosity, indicating a psychological link between self-perception and altruistic behaviour. [16]. The way I see it is that when you learn to accept yourself as you are, in other words live comfortably in your own skin, you become beautiful and kind.
Happy Holidays.
References
1. Darwin, C. (1871). The descent of man, and selection in relation to sex. London: John Murray. Chapter 4, “Sociability,” para. 11.
2. Kim, J. J., Cunnington, R., & Kirby, J. N. (2020). The neurophysiological basis of compassion: An fMRI meta-analysis of compassion and its related neural processes. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 108, 112-123.
3. Gilbert, Paul (2024). Explorations into the nature and function of compassion. Current Opinion in Psychology.
4. Cowan, C. S. M., Callaghan, B. L., Kan, J. M., & Richardson, R. (2016). The lasting impact of early‐life adversity on individuals and their descendants: potential mechanisms and hope for intervention. Genes, Brain and Behavior, 15(1), 155-168
5. Mascaro, J. S., Darcher, A., Negi, L. T., & Raison, C. L. (2015). The neural mediators of kindness-based meditation: a theoretical model. Frontiers in psychology, 6, 109
6. Pace, T. W., Negi, L. T., Issa, M.J … & & Raison, C. L. (2009). Effect of compassion meditation on neuroendocrine, innate immune and behavioral responses to psychosocial stress. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 34(1), 87-98.
7. Siegel, D. J. (2015). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are. Guilford Publications.
8. Mikulincer, M & Shaver, P.R. (2017b). An attachment perspective on compassion and altruism. In: P. Gilbert (ed). Compassion: Concepts, research and applications. (p. 187-202). London: Routledge.
9. Subramaniam, Aditi (2020). Understanding the neuroscience of compassion. What exactly is compassion, how does it differ from empathy and altruism, and can we train ourselves to be more compassionate? Psychology Today
10. Schore, Allen (). Infant Mental Health Journal, Vol 38(1), 15-52.
11. Rachmad, Y. E. (2019). Compassion Theory.
12. Fox, Matthew (2016). A Way to God: Thomas Merton’s Creation Spirituality Journey, New World Library.
13. Calvert, Drew (2024). Compassionate time. Aeon.
14. Seppala, Emma M. (ed). et al. (2017). The Oxford Handbook of Compassion Science.
15. Neff, K. D., & Seppälä, E. (2017). Compassion, well-being, and the hypo-egoic self. In K. W. Brown & M. R. Leary (Eds.), The Oxford handbook of hypo-egoic phenomena (pp. 189–203). Oxford University Press.
16. Kononov, N., Ein-Gar, D., & Puntoni, S. (2024). Physical appearance improvements increase prosocial behavior. International Journal of Research in Marketing.
Recommended reading
Ashar, Y. K., Andrews-Hanna, J. R., Dimidjian, S., & Wager, T. D. (2016). Toward a neuroscience of compassion. Positive neuroscience, 125-142.
Greene, I. Morrison, & M. E. P. Seligman (Eds.), Positive neuroscience (p. 125–142). Oxford University Press.
Marsh, A. A. (2019). The caring continuum: Evolved hormonal and proximal mechanisms explain prosocial and antisocial extremes. Annual Review of Psychology, 70(1), 347-371.
Regan, A., Radošić, N., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2022). Experimental effects of social behavior on well-being. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 26 (11), 987-998.