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I saw the woman get into her parked car. The timing was good, parking was scarce and I wanted to occupy the spot once she left. It seemed simple on the surface. All that was left for her to do was turn on the ignition, put it in gear and exit the space.
But no. It was not that simple.
I sat in my car with my blinker flashing. Hours seemed to crawl by. What was she doing in there? Planning her day? Hosting an event? Adjusting her rearview mirror? Putting a location into Google Maps? Had she started a new book? What was her problem?
Just what, exactly was there to do? It’s not hard. You get in the car, turn it on, check to see it’s safe and then you leave. It occurred to me that this could be intentional. The driver knew I wanted the spot and was delaying in order to stick it to me.
My anger and frustration burned as I grappled with the eternal question drivers ask themselves: “Is it them or is it me?”
Was this stranger intentionally dallying in order to insult and affront me or was I unreasonably angry and self-centred over an imaginary slight?
It was me. I was flustered and on the brink of losing my cool because a perfect stranger was taking a few more seconds to exit a parking space, a parking space that was public, that she had every right to occupy and from which she had every right to take a little time before leaving.
Even if she took an extra 40 seconds, it would have no impact on the trajectory of my life. She was not committing a crime, an infraction or even a casual slight. She was getting ready to leave a parking space. I didn’t factor into the equation. Yet here I was, stewing in my own bilious juices.
Pathetic but not uncommon.
Many of us are convinced other drivers will take extra time when they are aware another driver is waiting for their spot. It’s a firm conviction right up there with “The sky is blue.”
This belief stems, in large part, from the findings of the 1997 study “Territorial Defense in Parking Lots: Retaliation Against Waiting Drivers” by researchers at Penn State. They conducted three studies that demonstrated “drivers leaving a public parking space are territorial even when such behaviour is contrary to their goal of leaving.” They likened it to “territorial behaviour,” the marking or defending of a location to establish a presumed right.
In a media release, Penn State researcher Barry Ruback, professor of sociology and crime, law and justice declared, “Most people think they leave faster, but in reality, they take more time to leave when another car waits near their space. And if the other driver honks the horn, people will really slow down their departure just to occupy the parking space a little longer.”
The study followed up on work Ruback had done on pay telephone and other public areas such as libraries. “Even though people were leaving the parking space, departing drivers took longer when someone else wanted the space than when no one else wanted the space. This reaction is counterproductive because it takes more time and the driver’s entire goal was to leave the space anyway.”
One of the study’s more curious findings was that male drivers would leave significantly faster if the car waiting for a spot was “higher rather than lower status” (read: expensive). Car status did not influence female drivers.
Of course, the study was conducted in 1997, in an age before social media and iPhones when all a driver had to do was drive. Today, there are a million distractions.
This belief in territorial parking behaviour has become accepted wisdom among drivers. I’ve heard it referred to frequently in casual conversations and particularly when drivers are waiting for other drivers to leave parking spots.
It certainly seems true.
But even if it is, so what?
Don’t we have bigger fish to fry?
And as for my parking prevaricator? She left and never knew how irritated I’d become. A cold survey of the facts and a little introspection had revealed once again that the fault is not in our cars but in ourselves that we are human beings.