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2010 Honda Fury

On the misery scale, commuting ranks somewhere near the root canal and the tax audit. And Canadians are not immune. Vancouver has the infamous Fraser Valley highway. Halifax commuters suffer through the daily Bedford Highway backup. Then there's Toronto, the lowest circle of Canadian commuting hell: according to a recent report by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, Toronto has some of the longest commutes among OECD countries.

So what can you do to ease the pain? Here are a few suggestions:

Free Parking and Natural Air Conditioning: Back in the day, a prison record and multiple tattoos were a prerequisite to chopper ownership. Now, even Honda makes one - the Matte Bullet Silver Limited Edition Fury ($16,315.00 plus tax.) If you live in a jurisdiction that allows lane-splitting (like California) you can laugh at frustrated car-owners as you roar past stopped traffic. Although you can't do this in Canada, the Fury still offers some key commuter benefits: its fuel economy is far superior to most cars, and parking is usually a breeze (motorcycles get free street parking in Toronto.) You also get a connection with the natural elements, and the kind of street credibility that a Toyota Corolla just can't buy. On the downside: no airbags or cup holders. Bluetooth phone connection not available. Leather jacket recommended. Commuting pleasure will vary seasonally.

Barrie to Toronto in Fifteen Minutes: After ten years of work in a secret Montreal factory, the all-Canadian HTT Plethore LC-750 super-car is finally ready. With a carbon fibre body and a 750 horsepower engine, it has a calculated top speed of nearly 400 kilometres per hour. If you could get the highway cleared of all other traffic (and save up enough money for the speeding tickets and legal retainers) the LC-750 could make a 100-kilometre trip in 15 minutes. At least in theory. "We haven't found a track long enough to test the top speed yet," says HTT president Sebastian Forest. The retail price is $395,000. If you are willing to wait, and pay even more, HTT is now working a new version with a 1300-horsepower engine. Both models come with a feature sure to win the hearts of commuters who have found their cars parked in so tight that they can't even open the doors - the HTT's swing up vertically, switch-blade style.

Drinking and Driving Deluxe: The mobile coffee cup is a commuting staple. But which one? There are numerous options, including throw-away Tim Horton models and leaking Chinese knock-off mugs that have destroyed many a business suit. The Mercedes 360 Thermo tumbler may be the ultimate solution for drinking hot or cold beverages behind the wheel - which it should be for $40.40 (it's available as a car-show special for $29.00.) Key features include high-insulation, double-walled construction, integrated rubber hand grip, and a specially-designed lid that lets you sip at any angle. (That's why they call it the 360.) Mercedes tri-star logo adds snob-appeal.

Topless Commuting: Motorcyclists refer to car drivers as "cagers," because they're trapped inside a steel box that deadens the driving experience. A convertible car transforms a commute by reconnecting you with the elements: Instead of peering at the world through glass slits, you drive beneath the great dome of the sky, buffeted by wind, blasted with road grit, and envied by the lemming parade of cage-drivers. Of course you will have no protection from incontinent birds, but that's all part of the immersive, top-down experience. And as convertibles go, the Audi R8 Spyder is near the top of the pecking order. It's got a V10 engine, and head-turning style that has made the R8 series a favorite with celebrities. (Former Hills star Lauren Conrad bought the coupe version.) The price of the R8 convertible hasn't been announced, but it will be even more costly than the R8 coupe, which goes for $173,000.00, taxes not included.

Fingertip Controls : Why waste the hours you spend in your car? With Ontario joining the growing list of jurisdictions that have banned hand-held cell phones, you have two choices - a hands-free device, or commuting in silence. The ultimate solution is a Bluetooth-equipped car that links with your phone. Cars like the John Cooper Works Mini take the concept to the next level with steering wheel controls that allow you to answer, hang up and control the volume. You can also control the stereo, the cruise control, and switch functions on the dash display. Some manufacturers, including Audi, now offer an add-on feature called voice-tagging - you can speak people's names into the car's memory, then make calls to them automatically.

Run Silent, Run Cheap : The gasoline-powered Smart Car is already one of the most efficient cars on the road. But the electric version will operate for about one-sixth as much, offering dramatic savings for the frugal commuter. Instead of going to a gas station, you plug the electric Smart into a wall socket that will charge the battery in about five hours. Commuters sick of listening to a droning engine for hours at a time will be happy - the electric power system is nearly silent. Long distance commuters need not apply - the car's maximum range is approximately 120 kilometres. If the battery goes dead, you'll need a tow truck, a gas-powered generator, or a very long extension cord. The electric Smart is expected to reach the market within the next two to three years. Price has not been announced.

NASCAR-Style Protective Cage: You've got airbags and seatbelts, but when things go really bad on a commute, there's nothing like a steel roll cage. ETC Enterprises can fit a variety of vehicles with custom roll and side-collision bars, like the ones shown here in their $170,000 Top Tuner Pro Street Camaro. Although they complicate entry and exit, the bars offer a dramatic improvement in crash safety, and can act as extra heavy-duty clothes rods if you want to commute with extra office attire. Price depends on specific application.

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