My husband has been going on more jaunts with his buddies lately, and coming home later and later. Sometimes it's even after 5 a.m. when he rolls in. He tells me it's because he has to sleep in the car and sober up before driving. I don't want him to drive while intoxicated, but I think it's ridiculous behaviour from a middle-aged man. How can I deal with this?
- Exhausted
Well, look on the bright side. Depending on where you live in this great country, odds are your husband won't behave this way in the middle of December.
To his credit, at least he's not drinking and driving. He seems to have a solid handle on the fact that the only sure way to sobriety is time - not food, coffee, cold showers, energy drinks - or some other old wives tale.
You might want to talk to his buddies and find out what's going on. Hopefully he's not using the "nights out with the boys" as a cover for more nefarious activities. Are his friends concerned about his level of consumption as well? If he's consistently inebriated, it might be an issue they want to talk with him about. If they're concerned too, maybe it's time to speak to your family doctor. Consistent impairment at that level is not good for your husband's health, not to mention his work and your relationship.
Back to the issue of drinking and driving. As I said, it's a good thing your husband is not driving while intoxicated. However, there are still potential consequences to "sleeping it off" in the car. Whether he's sleeping or driving, he can be charged with care and control of a motor vehicle while his ability is impaired by alcohol. If he's in the vehicle along with the keys - whether they're in his pocket, or locked in the trunk - the penalty is the same as if he were operating it.
This brings me to another issue. If he's drinking so much he has to sleep it off, why is your husband driving in the first place? And what about you - have you ever offered to go and pick him up, or at least drop him off? If he has enough money to get drunk, surely he can afford a taxi home.
One of the perils of those who attempt to sleep it off is that they're often still impaired when they wake up. A police officer friend of mine recently encountered this, after nabbing someone for public intoxication. Despite spending a long night (13 hours) in the cell, his blood alcohol content (BAC) was still an incredible four times the legal driving limit. Tell your man just because he's slept for a few hours doesn't mean he's fit to drive. Ask him why he's risking harm to himself and others, not to mention the legal consequences.
New penalties under British Columbia's Motor Vehicle Act have just come into effect. Now, if you're driving in B.C. and caught with a BAC between 0.05 and 0.08, you'll be rewarded with a three day suspension and a $200 fine. If you refuse a breathalyzer, or blow over 0.08, it could cost you up to $4000 in penalties, accompanied by an instant ninety-day driving ban. It's not surprising that B.C. law has been toughened, given that, according to the Insurance Corporation of British Columbia, there are approximately 5,000 alcohol-related collisions in the province each year, causing 3,000 injuries and 115 deaths. Nationally, more than 1000 Canadians - both impaired and sober - die in alcohol-related crashes each year.
If your husband has an accident while driving over the legal blood alcohol limit, it's safe to say he will be found in breach of his insurance policy. Remind him that he'll be held personally responsible for one hundred per cent of the damage - to himself, and anyone else. If he gets a DUI conviction, his insurance premiums will also likely balloon.
In any case, who can manage to sleep at all, let alone "sleep it off," in a modern car? Gone are the days of cars with sofa-size bench seating. Unless he's driving a 70s Chevy van, a Westfalia, or a Ford Econoline, he's probably not even getting the sleep he's claiming.
If addressing all of this fails to bring your husband to his senses, and he persists in sobering-up in the car, perhaps he should get used to sleeping in it permanently.