Archie, a Chinese Crested, is seen here prior to winning World's Ugliest Dog competition at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, Calif. in 2006.
A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
McDonald's
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Signs you're eating too often at McDonald's : 1) When you take a shower, your feet don't get wet. 2) When you step on the scale it says "One at a time please." 3) When you order a meal they offer you an estimate. Plenty of folks are pigging out at the Golden Arches, judging by the 10-per-cent rise in third-quarter profit. Burp. |
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Netflix
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Tired of trudging down to the video store to rent really bad movies? Now you can download all the bad movies you could possibly watch from Netflix . Stinkers like Miss March, Bride Wars and more! Sure, we have some good movies, but most movies these days are just freakin' bad - and they can be yours if you join the 1.9 million subscribers who signed up with Netflix in the third quarter. |
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Steve Jobs: "RIM, you suck." Jim Balsillie: "No, YOU suck." SJ: "You suck more." JB: "Oh yeah? Your profit forecast missed estimates." SJ: "Did not." JB: "Then why did your stock fall, stupid?" SJ: "I know you are but what am I?" |
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Kids say the darndest things. So do kid's clothing retailers. For instance, wasn't it adorable how Children's Place slashed its third-quarter profit forecast, citing unseasonably warm weather and "poorly performing fashion"? Judging by the big drop in its stock, shareholders haven't heard anything so cute in a long time. |
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What's more fun than bidding on a smelly Cabbage Patch doll that's been gathering dust in someone's attic since 1982? Investing in the company that makes it possible to bid on the stupid doll, that's what. Shares of eBay took off after the company projected fourth-quarter sales and profit that topped analyst estimates. Playing with dolls was never this much fun. |
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