A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
APPLE (DOG)
Top-secret Apple products in development:
1) The MacVac Air all-in-one notebook/vacuum cleaner;
2) The iBone – a doggy chew toy;
3) The Apple apple – 100-per-cent real fruit!
Hit by the first-ever drop in sales of its iPhone, Apple posted sharply lower revenue and profit, hammering its shares. With its flagship device in decline and billionaire Carl Icahn dumping his entire stake, Apple had better come up with a new blockbuster product quick.
AAPL (Nasdaq), $93.74 (U.S.) down $11.94 or 11.3% over week
TWITTER (DOG)
Twitter investors probably need more than 140 characters to express their frustration with the company’s first-quarter results. Even as the number of monthly active users rose slightly, Twitter’s 36-per-cent jump in year-over-year revenue and its second-quarter projection both trailed analyst expectations. Well, at least Twitter’s bottom line is improving: it only lost $79.7-million, down from $162.4-million a year earlier.
TWTR (NYSE), $14.62 (U.S.) down $2.61 or 15.1% over week
FACEBOOK (STAR)
Twenty years ago, if you took a picture of yourself making a contrived pouty face, got the photo developed and then personally delivered it to all of your friends, they would have thought you were a narcissistic nutcase. This is considered perfectly normal behaviour on Facebook. With the social networking site crushing first-quarter estimates thanks to strong growth of mobile ad revenue, investors are upgrading their selfie sticks.
FB (Nasdaq), $117.58 (U.S.) up $7.02 or 6.3% over week
BOMBARDIER (STAR)
Bombardier a star? No, you’re not hallucinating. Lifted by an order for 75 of its long-delayed and over-budget C Series aircraft from Delta Air Lines, Bombardier’s stock rose for a third consecutive week. Delta – which also has an option for up to 50 more jets – expects to put the planes into service in the spring of 2018, but if the company can’t deliver streetcars to Toronto on time, what makes anyone think its airplanes will arrive on schedule?
BBD.B (TSX), $1.89 up 18¢ or 10.5% over week
XEROX (DOG)
Hilarious: Photocopying your butt on the office Xerox machine.
Depressing: owning Xerox shares.
Hit by restructuring costs as it prepares to split into two companies – one focused on copiers and printers, and the other on business services – Xerox posted an 85-per-cent drop in first-quarter profit and cut its full-year earnings forecast, sending the shares down sharply. Bummer.
XRX (NYSE), $9.60 (U.S.) down $1.57 or 14.1% over week