Friends retiring together have mutual interests, which may make it easier to fill the hours that used to be consumed by employment.andreswd/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
With one in five Canadian seniors reporting loneliness, some believe they have a solution – retiring alongside their friends.
When clients transition to retirement after years of employment, they’re also walking away from some of their biggest social connections, says Marianne Oehser, retirement and relationship coach at Next Chapter Lifestyle Advisors.
Friends retiring together have mutual interests, which may make it easier to fill the hours that used to be consumed with employment, she notes. And for spouses, retiring friends may help offset relationship issues that arise when couples are suddenly together 24/7.
“That built-in support would be a fantastic safety net,” Ms. Oehser says. “It just makes everyday social interaction easier.”
Francis Blaboe, financial advisor at FB Financial Advisory in Toronto, has a client who retired earlier than anticipated with friends from work when their employer offered a generous restructuring package.
“The main thing is making sure the client has the necessary funds and is financially ready to retire,” he says. “But having a friend really helps in terms of loneliness and engaging in other activities.”
Mr. Blaboe notes that friends can also influence when a client decides to retire. He has another client who originally aimed to retire in the next five years, but expedited the goal to three years to better align with a friend’s timeline.
Nevertheless, Mr. Blaboe says he still works with clients on their own plans for retirement ‐ as individuals.
“They still need to figure out what they’re retiring to and how they will spend their time apart from friends,” he says.
Limited social circles
Retiring at the same time as friends can work well if everyone’s financially on the right track, but assumptions and expectations need to be considered, Ms. Oehser says.
For example, some retirees expect to keep up an active schedule of activities, while others desire a less rigid approach.
And friends likely have different budgets in retirement, she says. “Some may not be able to afford or want what the rest of the friend group wants.”
Ms. Oehser also cautions that existing friendships might dampen a retiree’s ability to try different things and meet new people.
She cites the example of two married couples who retire together and participate in the same travel excursions and social activities.
“They may become so dependent on your social group that you don’t have any interest in expanding your social network,” Ms. Oehser says.
Should a friend die or experience health challenges, she says, “and those particular friends are your whole social circle, that can be pretty devastating.”
She advises retirees to broaden their social network beyond their tried-and-true group.
“The way to find new friends is to pursue interests you care about, whether it’s biking, running, knitting, cooking or a book club,” she says.
Why plans may change
Susan Reid, adjunct professor at Bishop’s University and author of the workbook Re-Visioning Retirement, says sometimes even the best-laid plans can change.
She and her husband originally planned to retire with some of their best friends in the Eastern Townships of Quebec. But things changed. They sold their business and related house property, retired early and relocated to a new province to be near the ocean.
“What we had planned 20 years ago wasn’t exactly the way things worked out,” she says. “You can have your plan but the realities of other obligations, life changes, and opportunities can pop up.”
For example, Dr. Reid says some may need to retire to focus exclusively on caring for aging parents.
While it’s nice to have company in retirement, Ms. Oehser says that’s only partially what the golden years are about.
“The next chapter isn’t about where you live and who your friends are today. It should be based on who you’re becoming,” she says.
“You will lose people you love, your interests and life circumstances will change. While it’s important to have people around you, don’t lose track of the focus.”