Advisors can help relieve financial tension by helping couples focus on practical, day-to-day issues.Nadezhda Kurbatova/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
Financial struggles affect not just clients’ wallets but their relationships, too.
According to a survey released this week from Money Mentors, a Calgary-based credit counselling agency, 28 per cent of Canadians who are in a relationship disagree about day-to-day spending, with another 24 per cent worried about a lack of savings.
How can advisors help couples work out their financial fights? Victoria Rempel, wealth advisor at iA Private Wealth Inc. in Winnipeg, starts by bringing the couple down to earth and focusing on practical, day-to-day issues.
“It’s actually rare for couples to have identical money values or goals,” she says.
Ms. Rempel works through relationship tension by focusing on the couple’s budget. She says overspending and undersaving are not abstract problems.
“They show up in the numbers. Once the couple can see the data, the conversation shifts from, ‘Who is right?’ to ‘What trade-offs are we willing to accept?’” she says.
“If we can agree on the facts and understand the short- or long-term consequences of their choices, it becomes easier to explore potential options and find something that works for both of them.”
Ms. Rempel gives the example of a couple in which one spouse is afraid of life’s curveballs and has emergency savings, life insurance and estate planning in place to handle any “what ifs.” The other spouse is more relaxed and ensures the couple lives for today by prioritizing big experiences each year.
“Sometimes, differences create balance. My job is to normalize these differences and help my clients align on what matters most to them,” she says.
In some cases, couples won’t budge on their views. In the Money Mentors survey, 17 per cent of Canadians surveyed said their financial situation is leading them to consider ending their relationships with their spouse or partner. That’s up from 11 per cent in last year’s survey.
Harry Sale, financial advisor at Raymond James Ltd. in Toronto, has seen money stress become so divisive for a few couples that they want to separate their finances.
“Then, the questions become: Who pays the mortgage? Who covers groceries?” he says. “It gets messy fast. The good news is most financial problems are fixable if you tackle them early and honestly.”
In dire situations, Cody Weber, owner and certified financial planner at Basic Financial Services Inc. in St. Catharines, Ont., doesn’t hesitate to bring in specialists.
“I work with a financial therapist to help couples who are not aligned on spending,” he says.
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