Financial ghosting has become an increasingly familiar part of the job, exposing just how tangled money can become with shame, identity and emotional avoidance.CurvaBezier/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
Financial advisors are used to guiding clients through market crashes, divorces and retirement fears. What catches many off guard is complete silence.
When calls go unanswered, e-mails pile up and financial plans stall halfway through, advisors are left wondering whether the client is overwhelmed, embarrassed, angry, or simply avoiding a conversation they no longer know how to have.
Financial ghosting has become an increasingly familiar part of the job, exposing just how tangled money can become with shame, identity and emotional avoidance.
“One of the hardest parts is you often never get answers,” says David Heyman, an investment advisor at iA Private Wealth Inc. in Victoria.
Mr. Heyman recalls one couple he had worked with for years. The relationship appeared solid. They trusted him enough to send their son to open tax-free savings and first home savings accounts. But after he called to discuss cash accumulating in their accounts, communication stopped abruptly.
Over the next two years, he sent polite e-mails, left voicemails and text messages asking them to reconnect. He even mailed a letter to their home. There was no reply.
Finally, suspecting his calls were being screened, he phoned from a different number. The wife answered.
“When I said who I was, she was miffed and said they were all very busy and would get back to me when they could,” he says. “There was no explanation.”
Months later, the husband transferred part of his portfolio to an online brokerage while leaving other assets behind. Then, more than a year later, the couple suddenly reappeared for an annual review.
“We invested the cash and had a lovely chat,” Mr. Heyman says. “But I decided not to ask why they had been out of touch for so long, because I didn’t feel they’d tell me the truth anyway.”
Financial ghosting can be easily interpreted as disrespect or dissatisfaction. But advisors say the silence shouldn’t be taken personally.
“A meeting with a financial advisor is an intimate occasion,” Mr. Heyman says. “Clients will often reveal information they’ve never told anyone else, even their spouse, but only when they fully trust you.”
When that trust falters, or when clients feel embarrassed by debt, overspending, divorce or failed investments, avoidance can take over.
Mr. Heyman now emphasizes early on that clients need to stay in touch for him to do his job properly. He also encourages them to name a trusted contact he can legally reach out to if communication stops suddenly.
But shame and avoidance don’t always stem from financial problems. Sometimes, they emerge during major life transitions when emotional bandwidth is already stretched thin.
Kimberly Wood, a wealth advisor with the Johnstone Wealth Management Group at National Bank Financial Wealth Management in Toronto, recalls a client who reached out excitedly about buying a home with their fiancé.
They began reviewing financing strategies, tax considerations and portfolio adjustments. Then, communication stopped completely.
Rather than pushing harder, Ms. Wood continued checking in periodically with calm, low-pressure messages.
“I’ve learned to approach these situations with understanding and confidence in the relationship,” she says. “It’s not personal. Life just happens.“
Eventually, the client returned and the conversation resumed almost seamlessly.
“Clients may delay sending documents, cancel meetings repeatedly, give short responses or say they’re too busy when something deeper is going on,” she says.
“Often, anxiety translates into silence not because they don’t care, but because engaging feels emotionally difficult in that moment.”
Avoiding judgment, she says, is critical to rebuilding trust.
“When a client returns after a long gap, I focus on removing the weight of what happened,” Ms. Wood says.
“I usually say something like, ‘I’m glad you reached out, and we can take things from where you are now.’”
Reducing administrative stress
Clients can also appear energized about financial planning when they reach certain milestones, such as starting a family or changing careers. But momentum can evaporate once the process becomes tedious, says Galen Nuttall, a financial planner at Maxim Advisory Group in Belleville, Ont.
“Something slows down the process, like gathering documents or getting specific about their goals,” he says.
Rather than becoming resigned to those delays, Mr. Nuttall tries to reduce the emotional friction around administrative tasks.
When a client mentioned she would send her financial information “at some point,” he offered to stay on the call while she gathered the numbers.
“She pulled up numbers from her CRA account, looked up long-lost pension information and gave me numbers to estimate CPP,” he says.
At the end of the call, the client admitted that without the extra support, it might have taken her weeks to complete the task.
“Collaborating at these difficult points can be a good way to keep the process going and prevent long gaps in communication,” Mr. Nuttall says.
But sometimes advisors never learn what happened.
Barbara Stewart, a chartered financial analyst and author in Toronto, recalls meeting a prominent chief executive who seemed eager to work with her after being referred by his sister, an existing client.
The next day, a courier arrived containing a $10-million cheque.
“All I needed to do was get the paperwork signed,” Ms. Stewart says.
She arranged to meet him that afternoon, travelled across the city and waited outside his office. Eventually, his assistant emerged to say he had gone home sick.
“And guess what?” she says. “I never heard from him again.”
Despite several follow-ups, the CEO vanished completely, leaving Ms. Stewart with unanswered questions and an unusable cheque.
“Was he embarrassed about something he had said during our meeting? Did he suddenly realize he didn’t want the same money manager as his younger sister? Was he simply a rude jerk?” she says.
“I never found out. But I continued managing money for his sister for years after.”