Financial advisors frequently become witnesses to the most difficult chapters of their clients’ lives.SDI Productions/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
When conversations with clients drift beyond the balance sheet to fear, uncertainty, grief and sometimes hope, advisors are the ones who absorb it. It’s the kind of emotional labour that rarely appears in a job description.
Although technical expertise remains the foundation of financial advice, advisors say their role has shifted from portfolio management toward something more holistic, with empathy an increasingly valuable professional skill.
“No amount of artificial intelligence and technology will replace human empathy,” says Lin Sok, an independent financial advisor in Montreal. “It won’t replace the hug, the hand-holding or the human connection when it comes to the tough moments in life.”
Financial advisors frequently become witnesses to the most difficult chapters of their clients’ lives, including illness, divorce and family crises – sometimes all at once.
Jackie Porter, a certified financial planner with iA Private Wealth Inc. in Toronto, recalls one client who faced a cascade of challenges simultaneously: separating from a partner, dealing with breast cancer and being pressured by an employer to exit her disability coverage.
“We often think we will only have one challenge to face at a time, but life doesn’t work that way,” Ms. Porter says.
Together, they created a plan that allowed the client to retire immediately rather than rely on disability benefits. A decade later, the client is healthy and travelling the world.
“Being a witness to my clients’ tough moments and then seeing them thrive is such a gift,” she says.
Ms. Porter, who has a degree in psychology, recalls a conversation with a therapist who found her practice online and remarked that their work was not so different.
“At our best, we are mirrors for our clients,” she says. “We are a sounding board. We ask curious questions and help them understand what is important to them.”
In practice, that can mean guiding people through anger, fear or grief without absorbing those emotions personally.
“When clients are angry, I slow down my speech pattern,” Ms. Porter says. “A slow, calm voice tends to slow the heart rate instead of matching anger with anger.
“This often helps to calm a client down. I then write down their concerns and offer another date in which we can tackle their concerns one by one – provided they are not abusive.”
Consistent emotional engagement, however, comes with a cost.
“I don’t think this is something we talk enough about,” Ms. Porter says. “Dealing with clients throughout their lives means we will see people through a lot of highs and lows, and sometimes it’s hard not to take some of the challenges our clients are facing home.”
The pressures can be particularly intense for advisors who struggle to set boundaries.
“Clients can keep us on the phone for hours,” Ms. Sok says. “When we don’t set boundaries, we can get caught up in cyclical conversations, and this is how we burn out.”
To manage the emotional load, she leaves space between meetings deliberately.
“I never schedule back-to-back client calls because I never know how the conversation will turn,” she says. “If a conversation is heavy, I’ll usually take my dog for a walk.”
Ms. Porter says she relies on exercise, time with friends and cultural outings such as live music and theatre to reset after difficult conversations.
At an industry level, she says the profession still lacks structured support.
“The financial industry can be a lonely business,” Ms. Porter says. “Advisors may share their wins, but they may not always share their challenges.”
Debbie Hartzman, certified financial planner and founder of Hartzman & Associates Inc. in Kingston, Ont., believes professional training should prepare advisors for the emotional side of the job rather than focusing on strictly technical subjects.
“Modern financial advice sits at the intersection of money, identity, security, family and meaning,” she says.
“People working in this field have to learn how to work without absorbing others’ emotions, yet display empathy at the same time. Not everyone can do this; it takes a lot of control.”
For Ms. Sok, the emotional connection is ultimately what makes the work meaningful.
But that also means dealing with difficult situations, such as women who lose their husbands early and have to manage their new financial reality.
She often observes family and friends rallying around grieving spouses in the early months after a loss. But that support can fade quickly.
“Life goes on for everyone around them, yet they feel alone with nobody to talk to,” she says. “As an advisor, I’m usually still around because the estate still needs to be settled. These are the moments that sit with me.”
Ms. Sok says the emotional work advisors put in goes against the common stereotype.
“Traditionally, we’ve been seen as transactional salespeople, so it’s normal for clients of any age to believe advisors don’t care and are only chasing a sale,” she says.
“But in my case, my clients become family. What they feel, I feel.”