Pricey sprouts
The novelty of adopting baby cruciferous vegetables may have withered in the late eighties, but Cabbage Patch Kids are a perennial crop. They've got a brand new birthing centre at a 100-acre patch in Cleveland, Ga., ParentDish.com reports. At the expanded BabyLand General Hospital, staff in lab coats explain the bizarre stages of birth. It all happens at the base of the Magic Crystal Tree, where pudgy doll faces poke out of cabbage leaves. After waiting for the eerie crystals to glow, a licensed patch nurse uses a stethoscope and administers a dose of "Imagicillan," then pulls out a naked Cabbage Patch Kid. Adults are left to wonder what she's smoking, especially when told to cough up $210 (U.S.) so their kid can adopt the petit chou.
By the Numbers: black-market breast milk
50: Going rate in Australian dollars for 1.2 litres of breast milk at a non-profit milk bank in Australia. Antibodies in breast milk protect babies against disease, but donor milk is scarce because milk banks are beset by funding and legislative woes, the Sunday Mail reports.
1,000: Price in Australian dollars for a litre of breast milk on the black market, which does not pasteurize or screen for viruses and bacteria. Lactation consultants call it liquid gold, but in this case, breast may not be best.
A Christmas Miracle
On Christmas Eve, Mr. Hermanstorfer held his pregnant wife's hand as she went into cardiac arrest and stopped breathing during labour. When doctors were unable to revive her, they delivered the couple's son by cesarean section, MSNBC.com reports. Seconds later, the newborn went limp. As Mr. Hermanstorfer cradled his lifeless son, his wife Tracy's pulse returned after four minutes without a heartbeat. Meanwhile, his son began to breathe in his arms. And three days later, the couple and their third child were back at their home near Colorado Springs, Colo., to celebrate what Mr. Hermanstorfer called "the hand of God."
The long, untattooed arm of the law
Tattoo fans, go ahead and ink your derrière - but think twice before you stick it to the kids. Last month, Patty Jo Marsh and Jacob Bartels were arrested in Atlanta for giving tattoos to six of their seven children (ages 10 to 17), including a small X on an 11-year-old girl's hand. The permanent marks were drawn with a homemade tattoo machine using electrical cord, spliced wiring and a guitar string for a needle, according to the Chattanooga Times Free Press. The couple was charged with tattooing a child and reckless conduct, both misdemeanours in Georgia, and cruelty to children, which is a felony. But their seven-year-old son was spared the needle because Ms. Marsh and Mr. Bartels had decided he was "too young."