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For postsecondary students, the stretch from Thanksgiving to the end of the fall term can feel like a slog. The dappled sunlight of orientation week has given way to dark, damp days and barren trees. Homecoming is over, and three days of close talking over Halloweekend have half the residence sneezing. Add finals into the mix, and it’s a recipe for stress.
Student mental health is a pressing concern on college and university campuses. According to Inlight Student Mental Health Research, an initiative from the University of Toronto, 75 per cent of Canadian postsecondary students experience mental-health difficulties, and a 2023 report by the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations said one in three students rate their mental health as “bad” or “very bad.”
For first-year students navigating postsecondary life, exam season can feel especially challenging – leaving parents wondering how to support them. Here are six strategies to help your child balance school work and well-being during this busy time.
1. Encourage them to lean on their resident adviser
If your student is living in campus housing, resident advisers (also known as resident assistants or dons) can be enormously helpful with everything from time management to homesickness.
“Sometimes a student will say, ‘I just need to talk to somebody. I’m really overwhelmed,’” says Trinity Lougheed, 25, who was a resident adviser at the University of Guelph for six years.
Resident advisers meet with students one-on-one and organize community-building activities. They’re trained to notice when a student is struggling and can facilitate communication with professors, as well as encourage a healthy balance between academics and lifestyle.
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2. Remind them it’s not unusual for grades to drop
Lougheed says she always warned first-year students that their grades would likely drop by 10 to 20 per cent compared with high school. “It’s normal, and almost unanimous across all majors.”
Students often notice the dip after midterm results and realize their high-school study habits are no longer cutting it. “It can be destabilizing,” says Dr. Vera Romano, a registered psychologist and director of McGill University’s Student Wellness Hub. “Not only are you taking away the predictability, but you’re also challenging the identity of the student, of ‘I am an A student.’”
According to Romano, many students overcommit in their first term until they recalibrate. “They think ‘I know how I work, I can do five courses and extracurriculars and my sports and this volunteering,’” she says. “So it’s finding your footing in an entirely new ecosystem.”
Lougheed suggests students contact their teaching assistants about where marks are most commonly lost, things such as inadequate citations or superficial analysis. In university, it’s up to the student to reach out if they’re struggling.
3. Advise them to work smarter, not harder
Students often think they must be hard on themselves to achieve results, says Romano, calling it “punishment-based” motivation. But “self-compassion-based” motivation is more sustainable. “It’s not about lowering their standards but about achieving them smartly.”
For example, pulling all-nighters or staying glued to your desk can actually hurt performance and boost anxiety – while taking breaks is restorative.
Lougheed agrees. “It’s so easy to think, ‘I have so much work to do, I’m just gonna sit here and grind,’ and then you haven’t talked to a person in three days.” Even a five-minute walk to the student lounge can help, as can maintaining a consistent sleep-wake schedule.
Prioritizing assignments is another core skill. “It’s better to have a zero on the 3-per-cent quiz than on the 10-per-cent assignment,” says Lougheed.
4. Suggest they explore campus resources
Schools have a network of health resources, but accessing them can feel overwhelming, especially during finals. Students trained to discuss mental-health concerns – known as wellness navigators at the University of Guelph or hub peer supporters at McGill University, for example – can connect students to appropriate resources, including counsellors in residence, mental-health professionals offering free, short-term counselling for any student living in residence.
Lougheed encourages students seeking professional counselling to reach out early through campus health clinics, as sessions book up fast. They can also connect with peer support groups. Same-day counselling is often available for urgent concerns, and resident advisers can point students to after-hours resources if needed.
Romano says even small interventions can ease exam season stress. “This isn’t the time for big habit-changing programs. It’s about doing a 10- to 20-minute mindfulness meditation that helps with focus and attention and lowers the nervous system.”
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5. Consider mentoring supports
Mentoring can also benefit some students.
“Kids don’t always want to be ‘fixed,’” says Chris Coulter, founder of the Mentor Well, a private Toronto-based mentoring service that provides teens and young adults with emotional support and life skills development. “Often, they are more receptive to talking to someone who’s been on a similar journey.”
At the Mentor Well, which Coulter calls a complement – not an alternative – to therapy, youth are paired with slightly older mentors who have endured similar stress. “When they recognize that someone else has gone through it, that this is just a moment in time, along with what strategies they used, and, most importantly, that their grades aren’t attached to their worth, they can see a path forward.”
6. Make room for vulnerability
Today’s young adults share a lot with their parents, but getting real about academic struggles can be challenging. “They don’t want to disappoint,” says Romano, who encourages parents to allow for things to not be going well. “If you normalize that, it opens the door and makes it easier for them to talk about.”
Coulter advises parents not to take their kids’ word at face value when they say, “I’m fine.” Instead, probing deeper with curiosity and targeted questions can “build bridges, not walls.”
Students will eventually feel more settled, says Romano. In the meantime, parents can reassure them: “They don’t have to do it perfectly. Get help. Don’t do it alone. Take care of yourself.” But at the end of the day, she adds, “they’re going to get through it.”