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A single woman once seemed like one of the worst things you could be.
It wasn’t long ago that if, as a woman, you failed to settle down by 30, you would be labelled a spinster, a lonely cat lady, an undesirable failure. Not any more.
Online discourse and numerous pop culture moments would have one believe that singlehood is now the status to strive for. In March, Chappell Roan shared that despite being in a serious relationship, she remains “pro-single.” In an essay this fall, Vogue asked if having a boyfriend was “embarrassing,” and last year, social media’s “boysober” trend saw women choosing to step back from dating to focus on personal growth. In Canada, roughly 15.5 million people were reported to be single in 2022, according to Statscan, and in 2021, 15 per cent of all adults aged 15 or older in private households reported living alone, the highest share on record.
There is actual evidence to support the satisfaction single women are experiencing. In 2024, a study from the University of Toronto found that compared to men, women were happier with their single status, the quality of their lives and the quality of their sex lives. They also desired a partner less.
Women’s greater financial independence likely has something to do with it, said the study’s lead author and PhD candidate Elaine Hoan, in an interview. Women also tend to have stronger social networks than men, making singlehood far less lonely for them, while men typically cite their romantic partners as their main source of emotional support, Hoan added.
Meanwhile, gender inequities persist in heterosexual relationships. Studies show women still take on more housework, chores and childcare responsibilities, often while managing their own full-time jobs. This may explain why even married women are withdrawing from emotional and physical intimacy and “quiet-quitting” their relationships, as reported by The Cut.
These inequities also persist in bedroom dynamics, where women’s sexual pleasure is still generally not prioritized.
“All these things lead to women feeling like they get the shorter end of the stick in romantic relationships, which could be why they feel like singlehood can be a more autonomous and free status for them,” Hoan said.
Dating app fatigue may also play a role. Research has shown that young women are more likely to experience unwanted behaviours on dating apps than older women and men of all ages. This includes receiving unsolicited sexually explicit messages or images, having someone contact them after they said they were not interested, being called an offensive name and even being threatened with physical harm.
“I’ve always felt very turned off by dating apps,” said Bianca Mercadante, a single 29-year-old living in Montreal. “It’s always felt very artificial to me.”
Mercadante has been single since she was 21. She said this has allowed her to have fulfilling friendships, family relationships, education and travel opportunities. It’s also helped her focus on her hobbies, including marathon running, which she describes as one of the “loves of her life.”
“I’ve always really enjoyed my own company and I don’t necessarily feel lonely when I’m alone,” she said.
Eden Stilman, a 28-year-old from Toronto, has been single for just over a year and is enjoying it more than she expected to. Her newfound singlehood, along with achieving financial stability, has her feeling more confident in her own skin.
This way of thinking is relatively new for Stilman, who said that just a few years ago, she couldn’t fathom being single at 28. She once thought she needed the security and comfort of a relationship to be happy. Instead, she found it within herself.
“I feel so good on my own and I would only want to be with someone who is improving my day to day,” she said. “Until that person comes along, I am very content in my singlehood.”
It’s not that young women aren’t open to romantic connections – both Mercadante and Stilman said they would be if they met the right person – but they aren’t willing to settle, either.
For many young women, that includes seeking a partner with whom they are politically aligned. This can be more difficult to find as young men continue to move to the right while young women move to the left (as observed in polls from Canada’s most recent federal election).
“For me, it’s a non-negotiable,” Mercadante said. “If you are willing to vote for somebody who doesn’t think I deserve access to choices about my body, then what does that say about what you think of my worth?”
Whether it’s because of dating app fatigue, increased opportunities or persistent gender inequities, Mercadante clearly spelled out the mindset that many young women seem to be adopting: “If it’s not better than my own company, I don’t want it.”