From making guests comfortable to setting the tone by example, hosting is an art.Goodboy Picture Company/Getty Images
- Rearrange your furniture: When entertaining, try to avoid the group-therapy circle that often takes shape, and intercept it ahead of time by moving your furniture to create separate seating areas that encourage smaller gatherings within the gathering.
- Shoes on or off? If you want people to leave their shoes on in your home for a party, put some on yourself. Remember: shoes on means a shorter party, shoes off says stay a while. Footwear can help set the tone and level of formality. I love seeing very formal people wear no shoes when entertaining in their house, it instantly shifts the vibe and makes the whole event more bohemian.
- Fork suppers: Thinking buffet? If everything offered can be eaten with just a fork, it makes for a more pleasant guest experience to quit the table and have a plate and napkin on your lap – no juggling glasses and flatware. If the beef needs a knife, set the table.
- Low glassware: How wonderful it is to see martinis and cocktails like the gimlet come back into fashion. Take a page from the glassware of the era too and avoid tall, tippy and sloshy martini glasses that will inevitably be spilled. Also, smaller servings mean a colder and more manageable tipple – don’t try to cut corners and pour half the bottle of Chablis in a guest’s glass to save yourself a trip to the ice bucket.
- Stay chill about the spill: If you don’t take my advice on the above and said tippy cocktail glass falls and breaks – or worse, a piece of inherited china splits in half – remember no matter how precious it was, you have to pretend it meant absolutely nothing to you. Your guest already feels terrible; it’s your job to relieve them of any guilt. If it’s from the family museum collection, leave it in the closet or save for dinners on your own when there’s no one else to blame but yourself when it breaks.
- Never, ever karate-chop your pillows: Outside of being terrible looking, it isn’t terribly welcoming. Instead, go around and sit on every seat cushion – when people see the wrinkles it’s instant permission to take a seat and relax. Take the edge off perfection when entertaining. Keeping things too pristine is generally unwelcoming and you want people to feel comfortable.
- Cut into the block of cheese yourself: This way, guests aren’t the first to do so – it relaxes them. And don’t forget to eat one shrimp or olive, so guests know where to put the tail or pit.
- Never try a new recipe: Guests want your most beloved dish – the tried, true and tested. New recipes also often mean more need for you to be in the kitchen, which equals less time with your guests. Same for drinks: Batch make your martinis or cocktails ahead of time so you don’t spend the night tending the bar.
- Further to food, keep it simple: People should leave talking about ideas, opinions and the people they met who energized them, not the salad.
- Embrace all that comes with entertaining, including a guest’s eccentricities: Someone won’t leave? Talking too loud or commandeering the dinner conversation? Did they eat all the aforementioned cheese? Roll with it!
- Keep an eye on glasses for refills: No one wants to ask for a drink. And remember it’s always, “Can I freshen that up?” and never, “Can I get you another?” (unless it’s the end of the night and you’re trying to prove a point, but even then, exercise with caution). Also a great option is a proper grog tray with all the supplies so people can make their own. I’ve been to parties where the host will make the first drink and then smartly say the rest are DIY and point to the tray – just be clear about the plan and have more ice than you think you need (and of course a few options for people who don’t drink alcohol – they should be served without question and with zero follow-up questions).
- Cloth napkins: They go a long way to making people feel like they’re not disposable.
- Skip the house tours: Have you recently renovated your house’s lower level? How lovely, I hope it’s fab, but no one really wants to see it when they’ve come for a party – and if they say they do, they’re probably lying, or in real estate.
- Host gifts? Silly and personal, always, over serious. A chic friend of mine brings a board game for the host’s kids if they have them or posh treats for the dog, which is always a hit. And nothing says “I don’t care” like a candle.
- Lighting is key: Keep them low, low, low, and adjust as needed throughout the night. Entertaining is about generosity, and what’s more generous than making your guests feel and look great.