RACHEL IDZERDA
He served as the royal press secretary back when Buckingham Palace was cranking out more gossip than the National Enquirer.
Now Dickie Arbiter shares some of his insider knowledge in his new book, On Duty With the Queen. Notable tidbits include details on Charles and Di's early romance, the Queen's fondness for Tupperware and, of course, how to handle a royal scandal.
Here, Her Majesty's former right-hand man shares some of the secrets to his success, including the time he told Diana to hush up and have a Scotch.
If you can't change it, don't sweat it
There are certain things in life that you can't do anything about, so there's no point in getting stressed. If there's a train breakdown, there's no point in getting upset because you can't fix it. You just have to get off and make other arrangements. One example of this was Diana when she helped Andrew Morton with the [tell-all book about the royal marriage]. The book came out and everybody was asking me – aren't you stressed? I wasn't. The book was out! It was there for everybody to read. There was nothing I could do about it, so why get upset or stressed? If she had come to me earlier and told me this was something she was considering, I would have said don't do it! Diana called me the morning the book came out and asked, what do I do? I told her, you've already done it! All you can do is keep your head down and don't answer the phone. I told her to pour herself a slug of Scotch and get drunk.
The Queen is just a person
We live in a celebrity-obsessed world today, but as far as I'm concerned an actor – whether it's Gwyneth Paltrow or Anthony Hopkins – is just another person doing a job that they're being paid to do. When I started at the palace my attitude was, yes, the Queen is my boss and of course I respected her, but there's a difference between being respectful and being a sycophant. When I had a conversation with the Queen, I spoke to her like a human being and if I had something to tell her, I would tell her rather than beating around the bush. That will earn you far more respect. One story I always tell is when I first started working for the palace. I went to Balmoral Castle for a picnic. Most people would probably be in awe, but I took it in stride. When it was time to wash up, I walked towards the kitchen and said, "I'll wash, you dry." The Queen responded, "No, I'll wash, you dry."
No comment is a comment
I have never been a believer in "no comment." No comment fuels speculation and often results in a story that you're not very happy about. Even the stories you don't like need to be addressed. There was that period before Harry went into the army, he would go off clubbing every night. It's what every youngster did, but not every youngster would be swarmed by paparazzi. On occasion he would come out of the club a little worse for wear and the press would ask, what's the story? We would say, Harry's having a bit of R & R and if he wants to get tanked up, well then fine, it's nobody's business. We can't deny it. Everyone can see it. Often reporters would try to get me to give my own opinion on a story and I would say, well my opinion doesn't matter – what do you think? You're the one writing the story. It's not that you're offering any new information, it's just that by acknowledging what they're asking about you can often defuse things a little bit.
You can catch more princesses with honey…
As the press secretary, you're only as good as your advice that gets taken. All of the good ideas in the world don't mean anything if nobody listens to you. Sometimes you have to pussy-foot around a bit to avoid hurting feelings. There was one time when Diana wanted to have a reception for the England football team. Her private secretary asked me what I thought of it and I said that it was a daft idea because the team had lost. That's what I said to the secretary, but when I was speaking with Diana, I took a softer approach. I said that it was a very nice and very generous idea, but warned her that if she gave a reception for a team that lost, she was going to have to give a reception for every team that loses. In the end she decided against it. She didn't speak to me for two weeks after, but at least she took the advice.
To own the story, make the story
When I was working at the palace, we often found ourselves in a position where we had to react to stories after the fact. This wasn't our fault. We were dealing with a different time and different people who weren't necessarily sharing their plans with us. Often with Diana or Fergie, we would find out about something that had happened the same way the public did – in the newspaper. Fergie would go away – yes, we knew she was going to the south of France, but we didn't know any details. And then there would be a picture of her lying on the beach topless with her financial adviser playing with her toes. There's not a lot we could do at that point. It is so much more desirable to be in a position where you can be proactive. Look at the birth of Prince George last year. Of course the media was desperate for a picture. They had been outside the hospital for days. So what did [Catherine and William] do – they walked out and stood in front of the cameras and smiled. She held the baby, they let everyone get their shot and then they got into their car and drove off. Total control.
This interview has been condensed and edited by Courtney Shea.