Barbara Grove
Feminist, family therapist, enquiring mind, mother, grandmother, mentor, irreplaceable friend. Born July 24, 1921, in Manchester, England. Died Feb. 6, 2011, in Kingston of complications from a fall, aged 89.
Barbara Grove grew up in Manchester and studied social work. She met Jack Grove in 1949 at an interfaculty meeting at the University of Manchester, where Jack was teaching. Jack spied Barbara across the proverbial crowded room; she was eating cake and spilling crumbs across her lovely bosom. Jack found this so charming and endearing that he had to meet her. (The spilling of food on her lovely bosom was a trait Barbara carried forward throughout her life.)
After marriage in 1951 and the birth of two children, Elizabeth and Christopher, Jack was offered a teaching position in the department of political science at Queen's University, so the family moved to Kingston in 1965. With her children growing up, Barbara earned her master of social work at McGill University, making the weekly trek from Kingston to Montreal before graduating in 1974. As Liz says, thus ended the Margaret Drabble period of Barbara's life.
In her early 50s, Barbara came into her own, first as a psychiatric social worker, then as a family therapist in private practice. Her commitment to social-justice causes and women's issues flourished in the 1980s and beyond. She devoted her talents and energies to the Elizabeth Fry Society, AWARE and Dawn House Women's Shelter, among many others.
Still going strong into her early 80s, Barbara tended her garden, read constantly and maintained her avid interest in left-leaning politics. In the last moments of her life, we began talking about Canadian politicians as a distraction from the enormity of the situation. It would please Barbara immensely to know that, as she was leaving this mortal coil, we were complaining about our federal government.
Family was intensely important to Barbara and her love for and pride in Liz and her husband Cliff, Chris and his wife Janet, and her grandchildren - James, Katie and Maya - was steady, strong and unfailing, as was her love for Jack. After he suffered a stroke and died in 2006, Barbara tried to stay on in their home, but found that it was too much for her to manage. So she moved into a retirement home, made new friends, kept on reading, engaged with the world and became a financial wizard.
Everyone with whom Barbara crossed paths - her gardener, former therapy clients, nurses and the legion of women who regard her as a mentor - immediately loved her.
Barbara entered hospital on Nov. 11, 2010, and never left. She died surrounded by the three of us and the love she gave. At the very end, she hung on longer than might have been expected. "She has a very strong heart," the doctors said. Everyone who knows Barbara knows this to be true.
By Liz and Chris Grove, Barbara's daughter and son, and Wendy Reynolds, Barbara's friend.