Esther Tate was a formidable woman. At 92, she was still driving, staying current on news and politics, taking care of her own banking and investments, shopping, cooking, making chicken soup for her family and living in the house that she had made a home for 56 years.
And she was still entertaining, throwing birthday parties for each of her seven beloved grandchildren, doing lunch with her lifelong friends and with her dear sister, and leading an independent and fulfilling life.
The eldest of seven children of Molly and Isadore Pressman, Esther immigrated to North America from Poland when she was 4. The family first lived in Pittsburgh then moved to Toronto a few years later. They also lived for a few years in Waubaushene, Ont.
At 16, Esther left school to work and help her mother raise her siblings. She was always able to get and keep a job, even during the Depression. When she was 18, her father died.
Esther met her true love, Harry Tate, while walking along College Street in Toronto. They married in 1941 and spent 62 years together. Esther was philosophical in her last months, saying that you have to have money and you need your health, but most importantly, you need love. She had a lot of love in her life.
A mother of three - Gary, Barbara and Marilyn - Esther was unlike most women of her time. She went out to work when Marilyn was just starting Grade 1, always working close enough to be able to get home during lunchtime. She was a role model and her family was always proud of her accomplishments.
Esther made strong and lasting friendships throughout her life. She was fiercely loyal, and when she was on your side you knew you had an ally and supporter forever.
She was also feisty. She never accepted the status quo. When she first met her palliative care doctor in her last weeks, the doctor asked her where she was born. She responded by asking the doctor how that was relevant to her condition. To which the doctor replied, it isn't, it's just a question we ask everyone. Esther told her that if it's not relevant, then you don't need to know.
Her strength and stamina, along with her independence, only began to diminish during her last few weeks. Even in the summer, Esther was leading an active and eventful life. After hearing her describe one of her busy days in the early summer, I suggested that she might be tired and need to rest a bit more, especially as she had recently finished another round of radiation. Her response was, "How much can I rest? I'll rest when I'm dead."
I hope she is having a good and well-deserved rest.
Marilyn Tate is Esther's daughter.