Illustration by Marley Allen-Ash
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Some people avoid family reunions while others embrace them. I must admit I used to be one that wasn’t keen on reunions of any kind: family, high school or any other type that requires the gathering of a crowd of strangers. Hasn’t social media replaced this in-person gathering? Judging from my own experience, I’ve reconnected online with long-lost family members, old university and high-school friends and work acquaintances. Did I really need to gather in person to reconnect? And what would I gain from the adventure?
Well, recently, I changed my mind.
Every two years a Marchiori family reunion is hosted between the Piemonte and Veneto relatives. My sister is usually the one who attends but she and other family members here in Canada could not go this year. Since I was free, I boldly told my sister that I would be the Canadian representative.
It was the 17th Marchiori Family Reunion and this trip would be my 17th time in Italy, but it was my first time at the gathering. After booking my plane ticket and then connecting with a second cousin who invited me to stay, there was no turning back.
I had met this cousin, along with his sister and brother and other members of their family, in 2018 when a group of 13 of our Italian relatives came to Canada. The year before, my two sisters had met this branch of the family at the Marchiori reunion. The cousins hadn’t realized they had a close Canadian connection and decided to visit. We had an amazing time and became quite close during their visit. We even had our own reunion barbecue in Ontario with more than 80 of us in attendance. One Italian cousin requested grilled liver so we delivered! However, the hamburgers stole the show. But that was 2018. A lot has happened in our lives in those eight years.
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Something stirred in me that day when I told my sister I would attend the 2026 party in her place. I was born in Canada, but both my parents and four siblings were born in Italy. I always wondered who I would be if I had been born and raised there. Maybe I was having an identity crisis? Or, perhaps, as I get older I value connection of all kinds? Or did I just want to get away and selfishly practise my Italian language skills that I’ve been honing for five years? Deep down I knew I wanted to reconnect and feel the closeness of family far away.
My sister recently told me about A.J. Jacobs’s book called It’s All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the World’s Family Tree. The author explores themes of connection and the us-versus-them mentality in the world. I guess I wanted to think of our family members as one of us and me as one of them and desired to explore my own background and ethnicity.
In Cossato, a town in northwest Piedmont, I was welcomed into my cousin’s home like family. His wife and daughter were so loving and generous, opening up their lives, their homes and hearts. He, his siblings and a few other cousins took me on adventures, from the exploration of big cities such as Torino and Milan, to the mountains and even to an island on Lake Orta. I spoke Italian for the whole week and started dreaming in the language. And to top it off, I tried 24 new Italian foods and specialties.
The reunion was in Ronco di Cossato, an hour from Milan. Imagine 100 people gathered under a hot June sun, sipping spritz. But the extremely hot day did not dampen the spirit of connection. The cousin organizing the reunion is a priest and so the day started with a mass at his parish, followed by a catered sit-down lunch, family style. Some relatives live nearby, others drove two hours or more. Rumour has it that at the next reunion, relatives from Australia will join.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself; however, spending time at my cousin’s house was truly special. I guess I could call that a mini reunion within the larger reunion.
I came home a changed person. To see such kindness and generosity and experience true connection with family that live far away had a profound effect on me. I now aspire to be more kind, more generous and more loving. I want to open my heart more fully to family, near and far, friends and even strangers. Connecting with family strengthened my faith in humanity and deep down got me to see what is truly important in this world. Little did I know that coming to this reunion would contribute to a life-altering experience.
Our extended family lives in Italy, France, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Belgium, Australia, the United States and Canada. Hmmm … perhaps there are more reunions in my future.
Susan Marchiori lives in Waterloo, Ont.