Should you be stumped for a last-minute gift for the savvy sipper on your list, you could always try typing the words "wine gifts" into Amazon's search field. Beware, though. You'll come up with no shortage of cringe-worthy possibilities. Like the BigMouth Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass, one of the online retailer's "bestsellers." Picture it: a wine glass fused to the neck of a full-sized bottle. No need to ask for a second (or third or fourth) pour because, hey, you can glug all night straight from the bottle-bottomed glass.
In a more lewd vein, there's the Happy Man Bottle Stopper. It's a red plastic figurine of a smiley-faced fellow with outstretched arms and – how to put it? – a Viagra-induced protrusion from his midsection. That latter appendage, the width of the inside of a bottle neck, acts as the stopper for your uncorked, half-finished bottle. Merely insert Happy Man's full salute into the cavity where the cork used to be to save your lively pinot from going flaccid.
But I digress. Surely, there are better ways to bring a smile to a drinker's face – such as an actual bottle, a thoughtful book or a less risqué bar accessory that won't risk dismemberment with the slam of a kitchen drawer.
Armagnac de Montal 1997, $99.95
Back when the holidays in Canada were more narrowly referred to by a religiously specific name, de Montal's excellent vintage-dated brandy was nicknamed by sellers in the trade as "The Christmas Armagnac." Usually released for the holidays and redolent of flavours and aromas of the season, it came (and still does arrive) in a swanky wooden box. Armagnac is to Cognac what craft beer is to megabrews, robust and fashionable among connoisseurs. This gem is sturdy and very dry, with a smoky grip that surrounds a core of rich caramel, peach and orange-zest flavours. It's a meditative dram for cozy evenings by the fire (or by a space heater, as the case may be). Available in Ontario.
Château Fonréaud 2010, $44.95
Great vintages like 2010 in Bordeaux don't come around often (though 2009 and 2005 rank pretty high as far as the past couple of decades go). The top wines are, of course, beyond the reach of most salaried bums like yours truly, but this beauty is within sensible striking distance. Full-bodied, meaty and wonderfully aromatic, it suggests essences of currant, blackberry, cocoa and woodsy underbrush. Approachable now, it could improve with up to 15 more years in a cellar. Available in Ontario at the above price, various prices in Alberta.
Final Touch Extra Large Ice Cube Moulds, $12.50 for a set of two four-cube trays
Made of flexible silicone, these 5-by-5-centimetre moulds bring one of today's big bar trends to your home-mixology repertoire. Large cubes melt more slowly and look impressive in a tumbler. You can also drop in a lime wedge or small orange slice prior to freezing for a touch of colour and flavour. Dishwasher safe. Available at Indigo and select kitchenware stores (www.alwaysfinaltouch.com).
Barone Ricasoli Brolio Chianti Classico 2013, $22.95
Ricasoli, one of Tuscany's big producers, travelled back in time, in a sense, for this 2013 vintage. The harvest three years ago marked the 300th anniversary of a decree that created the Chianti Classico appellation. As a tribute, half the winery's flagship red was packaged with an old-school, white label recalling fine vintages produced at the estate in the past century. The other bottles carry the modern, tan label. (You can clearly identify the old one by the prominent vintage date stamped on the bottle neck.) Both were distributed in stores, so you can't be certain which you'll find. No matter. The liquid inside is solid, particularly for a Chianti at this price. Medium-full-bodied, it's very dry and firm, with lively cherry joined by spices and a saline tang on the finish. Available in Ontario at the above price, $27.99 in British Columbia (on sale for $25.99 till Dec. 31), various prices in Alberta, $24.45 in Quebec.
Trudeau Cocktail Shaker, $36.49
Smart drinks deserve a smartly designed cocktail shaker. Quebec-based Trudeau makes this three-piece vessel with an integrated, tidy-pour strainer that guards against splashing. The cap doubles as a measuring cup, with clearly visible lines at the 1- and 2-ounce levels. Available at select kitchenware and department stores nationwide.
Volcanic Wines, by John Szabo, $59
Wine books tend to follow cliché formats. There are encyclopedias, personal memoirs and pedantic takes on various styles or grapes. John Szabo takes a road less travelled in this captivating book, which digs into the topic from the ground up. After numerous years tasting and travelling, the Toronto-based master sommelier came upon a peculiar insight. Many of his favourite wines grow on volcanoes. Maybe it's because of the diversity of minerals that enrich the vines. Or the treasure of quirky old vineyards and varieties that were spared root diseases that devastated plantings on more fertile ground. Or the stubborn determination of vintners willing to work rugged terrain. What we do know is that vines tend to produce better grapes when forced to struggle, and volcanic soils supply that pain in spades. The book – rich in photographs, maps and profiles of top producers – conveys a wine lover's infectious passion through crisp writing and authoritative analysis. To be sure, it's hardly a narrow topic. The book spans numerous wine styles and 22 regions, including Sicily's fearsome Mount Etna, Campania in the shadow of famed Vesuvius, the Canary Islands, and even the more familiar cabernet sauvignons and pinot noirs of Napa Valley and Oregon. Volcanoes don't just spill lava; they also erupt with pretty good drink.
Beau's New Lang Syne, $16
Think of it as fine Champagne made from barley. Beau's, the Ontario brewery with experimental savoire fare and a flair for beautiful labels, has outdone itself here. Packaged in an arresting 750-mL Champagne-style bottle, New Lange Syne (the name is a riff on the classic New Year's anthem Auld Lang Syne) is modelled after the Belgian tripel beers that originated in Trappist monasteries. Part of the brew was matured for four months in barrels that once held pinot grigio wine, then blended back into the batch to add a fruity, vinous quality. Made with organic barley malts and organic hops, it's golden, with a slight haze and good head retention. The texture is festively sparkling, carrying suggestions of citrus and tropical fruits and delicate spice. Simply awesome. It tastes lighter than the 9-per-cent alcohol would suggest. Available in Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia.
Jameson Distiller's Safe, $99.95
Irish whisky (or more properly "whiskey"; they spell it with an "e" in the old country) has soared in popularity. With that growth, a slew of premium offerings priced more in line with single-malt Scotch has sprouted. Jameson, the top-selling brand, is on-trend with Distiller's Safe, one of three products in its Whiskey Makers Series. Head Distiller Brian Nation has crafted a pale-yellow spirit designed to showcase the delicate characters of youthful pot-still and grain whiskies versus the more mature, caramel-like essences attributable to liquid that's spent longer time in wooden casks. (A "spirit safe," incidentally, is the traditional contraption that permits distillers to analyze new-make spirit coming from a pot still.) The taste is redolent of sweet pear and melon, with bread, roasted nuts and spice in the far background. Breakfast whisky? I'll drink to that. It's already afternoon in Dublin, after all. Available in Ontario at the above price, various prices in Alberta, $95.99 in Manitoba, $98.95 in Newfoundland.
Wine-club membership
Pressed for shopping time? Sign up for a wine-club membership and include a note to that effect in a greeting card (assuming you've bought a card). Good choices include Wineonline.ca (serving Ontario and Alberta), WineryToHome.com, The Opimian Society (www.opim.ca) or any one of your favourite Canadian wineries with an active club that ships select bottles on a regular basis to members, such as Tinhorn Creek or Laughing Stock in British Columbia, or Closson Chase or Flat Rock Cellars in Ontario.