The question
How old is too old for my child to still be sleeping in my bed?
The answer
Proponents of co-sleeping base their beliefs on studies that show that when a baby sleeps in a parent's bed, there is lower blood pressure, a lower heart rate, a release of feel-good hormones and simply a calmer baby. Breastfeeding is also easier and some parents say they sleep better.
Dr. William Sears, a well-respected pediatrician, is a proponent of co-sleeping and has written popular books on this topic.
On the flip side, both the Canadian Pediatric Society and the American Academy of Pediatrics oppose bed sharing. They deem it unsafe, fearing suffocation of the child (see www.caringforkids.cps.ca).
Most children prefer to sleep in their own beds as they grow, becoming too big to comfortably roll around or curl up without bump into someone else. This may lead to a child kicking her dad out of bed so that she can sleep with mom.
It all comes down to balancing the needs of all the family members. To make the child more important than the parents' relationship, on occasion, may be fine. But be consistent about the rules you set. Allowing it to reach the point where a child controls where parents sleep seems excessive.
Send pediatrician Peter Nieman your questions at pediatrician@globeandmail.com. He will answer select questions, which could appear in The Globe and Mail and/or on The Globe and Mail web site. Your name will not be published if your question is chosen.
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