Mike (the Situation) Sorrentino?s cheeky DVD is more likely to entertain than help you get ripped abs.
Mike (the Situation) Sorrentino from the questionably appropriate yet often uproarious reality show Jersey Shore has come out with a DVD, The Situation Workout.
Some of you may feel you've already read too much. But whoa, hold up. Let's at least give the guy a chance.
After all, he's responsible for coining one of the year's most quotable acronyms, GTL (as in, gym, tan, laundry) and deserves some credit for wanting to share (cough, cough, cash in on) the "secret recipe" to his washboard abs. How difficult could telling people to do some dumbbell exercises really be, right?
He's no Jane Fonda. The reason: He's too concerned with playing up his shtick. This makes for good entertainment but in such a way that I found myself more motivated to watch the workout on my sofa with a bowl of popcorn than slip on a pair of booty shorts and sports bra.
In fact, if I had to do a Jager shot for every time he says "situation" or "situated," my liver would disown me.
Which is not to suggest that the program is entirely without merit. The DVD ($11.49 on Amazon.ca) is divided into five segments, each concentrating on different muscle groups. There's Ripped Upper Body, Killer Arms, Juiced Glutes and Legs, Awesome Abs and Insane Abs.
In a studio made to look like an urban warehouse, Mr. Sorrentino assembles three friends, Jonathan, Nicole and Anne-Marie (a.k.a. the Unit, Sweetie and Sweetheart) to help demonstrate the circuits. Essentially, he is not reinventing the wheel: Think bicep curls and hammer curls for arms; lunges and jump squats for legs; crunches and planks for abs. Some of the more advanced moves include side planks with oblique twists and alternating side raises with weights for the shoulders.
Between every set, he incorporates an active rest. In this context, though, the jumping and bouncing looks as if it's a few steps shy of nightclub dancing. All that's missing are some LED lights and will.i.am.
Mr. Sorrentino takes every opportunity to be suggestive, whether physically or conversationally. I'm not sure how many trainers straddle their clients as they complete a set of pushups, but the Situation clearly prefers to be on top. He's also willing to get down on the ground and correct form … as long as this affords him a better angle of Sweetheart's butt.
The first time he lifts up his skintight tank, it's gratuitous but understandable - we're here to get his body, after all. After the sixth torso shot, I've seen enough. Yes, Sitch, we know you have multiple packs and pecs and those v-lines that go down to your man parts.
But here's what he doesn't tell you: On Jersey Shore, Snooki dubs the muscle men "gorilla juice heads" as a nod to their size and the fact that they're pumped up. Who knows how Mr. Sorrentino really stays in such fine form; he's worked as a trainer and fitness model and says he's been into exercise since his teens. It just seems like a big leap to assume this video will give average Joes and Janes similar definition.
"My main thing is to get the workout out there for people," he says in a recent phone interview. "It's not the hardest workout and it's not the easiest."
Yet he also seems to be in on the joke. "It's very unique because I don't think there's any workout that has this vibe - it's humorous and entertaining," he says. Hmm, I wonder whether he's aware that his, er, situation under his shorts looks a bit pokey-outie through the duration of the 73-minute program.
Anyway, the basic principles are all there, and it's quite possible that Mr. Sorrentino will make you sweat. He says the workout seemed to be the most obvious foray into building his brand, and it sounds as if a fitness book is next. I'm holding out for a laundry how-to. That would be hot.