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Bringing children to a restaurant shouldn't be a nightmare, for parents or other diners. But it often is. Wailing kids have caused chefs to consider banning babies from their restaurants. A Cape Breton restaurant went ahead and announced earlier this year that screaming children are no longer allowed.
We seem to debate, endlessly, the question of whether or not to ban kids from eateries. Apparently none of us can agree on what constitutes good manners and acceptable conduct. It's easier to just ban kids outright.
Too many parents seem to think the rules don't apply to them when they bring their kids out for a meal.
Which brings us to a restaurant in Maine. A 2-year-old girl was screaming for almost an hour on Saturday when owner Darla Neugebauer had enough.
"I slammed my hands on the counter and I said, 'This needs to stop,' meaning her screaming," she told WCSH-TV. "And I pointed at her, and she looked at me and she stopped. And her parents said, 'Are you screaming at a child?' Yes I am. And she shut up."
The child's mother told the TV station her daughter was only crying for about 10 minutes and it was "nothing out of the norm."
As someone with two small kids, both of whom have had meltdowns at restaurants, I like to believe I get a bit of extra slack. But I am mindful of others, and do what I can, whether it's shushing the kids quickly or taking them outside.
If someone yelled at me and my kid, my first defensive reaction would be to yell right back. But that has never happened because if I can't get my kids under control in less than a couple of minutes I take them outside. It's a restaurant, not my house.
Many people have come out against Neugebauer on the restaurant's Facebook page.
"There is no excuse for your sick behavior. You run a business and should be professional. Karma will find you," one person wrote.
But many more people agreed with Neugebauer.
"Good for you! When my kids were little I wouldn't let them cry in a restaurant for even 30 seconds. Teach your kids how to behave in a restaurant (etc.) or take them outside," wrote one woman.
"People pay good money to go out to eat. They don't need to hear a child screaming during their whole meal. The parents should have removed the child so everyone else could enjoy their meal," wrote another.
Neugebauer's frustration is completely understandable, but yelling at a 2-year-old? Even if the kid does quiet down, you're still the jerk who yelled at a 2-year-old. Maybe she should have directed her frustration at the parents. They certainly deserved to be yelled at, by the sounds of it.
Neugebauer says she asked them several times to calm the child or take her outside, and the parents ignored her.
Suppose the parents are telling the truth and that the child was only crying for about 10 minutes. Only? Ten minutes of toddler screaming is an eternity of frustration for people forced to listen. If you can't pacify a child in less than two minutes, you need to take that kid outside.
Consider, too, how selfish you have to be to say that your child's 10-minute long screaming fit inside a restaurant is "nothing outside the norm."
Whose norm? Believing that you get to decide what the norm is as your kid is wailing while other people are trying to enjoy a meal is the ultimate in entitled parental delusion.
We all need to get along, and it is getting harder and harder. Parenting isn't easy, but that doesn't give you a pass to impose on others. If you are going to let your kid have a fit and you're not going to take the child outside or find another way to quiet them, you shouldn't pretend to be shocked – mortified! – if someone finally tells you this needs to stop.