After taking the stage at last week's Emmys, then gamely taking barbs at his roast the next evening, Charlie Sheen has gone from punchline to comeback kid. No small feat for a man accused of acts that would make the Marquis de Sade blush. Perhaps the old adage is true: Time (and a good PR strategy) heals all wounds. For miscreants who can't afford a professional, here are some tips on how to effectively survive a scandal.
Keep time on your side
The first hours and days following a misdeed are by far the most important, so if you're going to deliver a mea culpa (and you should), now's the time to do it. "An apology delayed is almost as useless as no apology at all," says Robin Sears, senior partner at Navigator, the damage-control firm that represented former Ontario attorney-general Michael Bryant after he was involved in a deadly altercation with a cyclist. Mr. Sears says infamous bad boys like Tiger Woods and Bill Clinton didn't do themselves any favours by letting the clock run. "After a scandal, the media requires a certain amount of information," he explains. So if you're apologizing, you have at least some control over the story.
Be sincere. Or at least know how to fake it
A heartfelt apology means taking full ownership of whatever dreadful deed you committed, so avoid qualified statements such as "If I offended anyone…" that imply you're not convinced of your own guilt. "Smugness or phoniness will almost always be detected by an audience," says Mr. Sears. Of course, life isn't fair, so some sleazebags will come off as lovable English cads and certain decent people just aren't able to connect with their audience (call it the Al Gore conundrum). For this reason, it's important to practise your "sincere apology" in front of a trusted friend or mirror. By all means get a little teary, but avoid full-on waterworks, which tend to make people uncomfortable.
Avoid yes men and women
Banish the sycophants and surround yourself with people who are going to give it to you straight, regardless of the result. If you're a trader about to go down for unsavoury business dealings, consult a professional. If you've been caught cheating on your boyfriend, a best friend or trusted sibling should do it. "Even if it's your mother, it's so important to have a sounding board that has your best interests at heart and isn't worried about pleasing you," says Mr. Sears. "It really makes you wonder about people like Tiger Woods. Clearly this guy has advisers. So you've got people who might stand to make 25 per cent of a billion-dollar income and still they didn't intervene." Money doesn't buy you happiness, and apparently it can't buy you a good PR team either.
Dress the part
Don't let your appearance become a talking point. "You don't want to look like a homeless person, and you also don't want to be dripping in bling," says Mr. Sears. "Clothing should be appropriate to your position and circumstance." When in doubt, a dark-coloured suit is a solid bet for men and women. Anything that might ever be described as "fun" or "kooky" should stay in the closet.
Keep mud-slinging to a minimum
When accused of a crime, the common instinct is to take down the attacker, but this will often make you look worse. "Remember that calling somebody else dirty doesn't make you clean," says Mr. Sears. So maybe your accuser has a past of his or her own, but an aggressive attack (especially if you are the Goliath) can tarnish your reputation even further. Sure, Tiger Woods's many women were far from choirgirls, but they weren't acting alone.
And don't do this: Keep your mouth shut. That may work in a court of law, but in the court of public opinion there are no rules.
Special to the Globe and Mail