When you read the final account of the final moments of Nodar Kumaritashvili's fateful training run on that February morning, it hits you: What must he have been thinking?
As he tried hopelessly to get control of his sled, did he contemplate, even for a second, the bleak possibilities of his dilemma? Did he think about his parents back in Bakuriani in the Republic of Georgia? Whether he would see them again? Or did it all happen too fast to consider anything but the immediate problems confronting him?
We will never know, of course. But an official report into the fatal accident during a training run at the Whistler Sliding Centre on the opening day of the 2010 Winter Olympics conjures up all sorts of grim scenarios as it deconstructs the last seconds of the young luger's life.
The investigation by the International Luge Federation will disappoint those who were hoping it would shed new light on the tragedy. Instead, the federation arrives at the same conclusion it reached a mere 24 hours after the accident occurred: The cause was driver error.
What the report does is relate, in excruciating, often terrifying detail, precisely what happened from the time Mr. Kumaritashvili began experiencing difficulties while exiting turn 15 to the point where his sled - travelling at more than 140 kilometres per hour - effectively became a catapult that flung him outside of the track into a metal pole.
He didn't stand a chance.
There are those who were always going to be suspicious of whatever the luge federation found in its investigation. It is there to defend the sport, after all. Following the accident, it maintained it took every precaution possible to ensure the safety of athletes. It was always unlikely to veer from that line of defence in its report.
But if the track was so safe, why did the federation make modifications to it before competition began? According to the report, the moves were precautionary. And officials thought the changes might help ease the minds of athletes who were going to compete on the track after such a horrific event.
They had nothing to do with admitting culpability.
The B.C. coroners office will also be issuing a report into Mr. Kumaritashvili's death later this year, and I'll be shocked if it arrives at a radically different conclusion from the one reached by the federation. It will likely recommend safety measures the federation is already considering.
There will be those who argue, as Nodar's father David has, that a mistake by an athlete shouldn't mean his or her death. But when you are talking about sports where participants are travelling at extreme rates of speed, the spectre of death hangs over every race.
It is there every time a ski racer plunges down Kitzbuhel in Austria. It is there every time a bobsledder goes around the track at Altenberg, Germany. It is certainly there for those blitzing the Indianapolis Motor Speedway during the Indy 500. One mistake and …
And there will always be those, including many luge competitors, who will maintain that what happened to the 21-year-old Mr. Kumaritashvili was a freak accident that could not be re-enacted in a million attempts.
Like it or not, the danger that lurks in these sports is an integral part of them. It is how you handle that danger, handle the prospect of possibly dying while competing in them, that often separates athletes. No one wants to be reckless, but those able to push thoughts of peril back into the furthest reaches of their mind are often in the best position to succeed. It is a key weapon in the arsenal of any athlete competing in a dangerous sport and always will be.
Nodar Kumaritashvili's parents had little money. Bakuriani is one of the poorest towns imaginable. Although there is nothing anyone could give Nodar's parents to replace their loss, the report makes clear that they will not be quite as destitute as they once were. They have received tens of thousands of dollars in donations from everyone from VANOC to Olympic athletes. They have also received the benefits of an insurance policy that is believed to be worth $150,000.
I realize that in the context of the death of their son it seems almost crass to be talking about money, but it will help make the Kumaritashvilis' lives more bearable. It won't help erase the pain they feel each day. It may help them afford simple luxuries they once couldn't.
Whether Nodar's death was preventable or not will always be debated. That it was a tragedy will not be.