Fred Lum/The Globe and Mail
Sassafraz Restaurant in Yorkville during the Toronto International Film Festival: Tables are packed with chicly dressed women and handsome men with perfect hair who are wearing just the right amount of cologne. HELENA GUERGIS, her husband, RAHIM JAFFER, and business associate NAZIM GILLANI are seated at a prime table looking out over Cumberland Street. JAFFER's suit jacket is folded over the back of an unoccupied fourth chair.
GUERGIS: I just love this restaurant? There's nothing like it up in Simcoe.
GILLANI: Nothing?
GUERGIS: The Sovereign does a helluva schnitzel. But there are, like, zero celebrities.
JAFFER [gazing out the window] Check out that Ferrari.
(GUERGIS glares at JAFFER.)
GUERGIS : Honeeeey. You can't get excited every time you see a Ferrari. Mr. Gillani probably rides around in Ferraris all the time.
GILLANI: When I see a man in a Ferrari, I think, "There's someone with powerful friends…" [GILLANI pauses for effect]"…who work for the government."
(JAFFER and GILLANI guffaw and clink wine glasses.)
JAFFER: Speaking of government…
GUERGIS [interrupting] I was, like, devastated after the fire.
GILLANI: What fire?
GUERGIS: The one here at Sassafraz, silly. Don't you remember?
JAFFER [annoyed] She cried for days.
GUERGIS: But it actually looks better now! They must have hired Sarah Richardson.
GILLANI: Not all restaurant fires are accidental, you know.
(JAFFER and GILLANI guffaw and do the thumbs up. A WAITER approaches.)
WAITER: Have we had chance to look at the menu? We have some specials I can-
GUERGIS [to the WAITER] Um, excuse me, but I think I see Michael Douglas. Michael Douglas! And is that Matt Damon over there?
WAITER: We are grateful that he has honoured us…
GUERGIS [interrupting] He might be interested to know that a real live politician is sitting in the same restaurant.
WAITER: Where?
GUERGIS: Me! I have a seat in the House of Parliament.
GILLANI: It's similar to the House of Lancaster, only more expensive.
(JAFFER and GILLANI high-five.)
GUERGIS: As the Minister of State (Status of Women), I feel like I should know what you're talking about.
(The WAITER refills their glasses and leaves. GUERGIS swirls the dark liquid and inhales the bouquet.)
JAFFER: To get back to what I was saying…
GUERGIS [interrupting again] I'm getting notes of vanilla, blackcurrant jam and hot, wet leather. You really have to hand it to Jackson Triggs.
(GILLANI's mood grows serious, his brow furrowed. He leans forward and brings the points of his fingers together, forming his hands into the shape of a globe.)
GILLANI: Rahim, Helena, among wonderful friends, one can exchange pleasantries all night. But we are here to talk business.
JAFFER [exploding with relief] Finally.
GILLANI: What I need is access.
JAFFER [aggressively] I can get you on Flaherty's Christmas card list.
GILLANI: No, it has to be Harper.
GUERGIS [nodding] He's the prime minister.
JAFFER: I can, shall we say, open the doors to the Prime Minister's office.
GILLANI: You are sure?
JAFFER [winking] If they're locked, I'll call in a locksmith.
GILLANI: Say no more.
JAFFER: I'll chop off the roof and lower you in by helicopter.
GILLANI [sternly] I get it, Rahim.
JAFFER: I'll have Harper's office dismantled piece by piece and rebuilt around you, if that's what it takes.
(An annoyed GILLANI picks up the menu and changes the subject.)
GILLANI: Steak, anyone?
JAFFER: Once you've had the rib eye at La Castile, Nazim, nothing measures up.
GILLANI [pleasantly surprised] I always had you pegged as a Harbour 60 man.
JAFFER: Well, you do see some very important people at Harbour 60 - Pinball Clemons, Chris Bosh, Tim Hudak. One time I stood next to Colton Orr at the urinal. I've never felt more powerful than I did at that moment.
GILLANI: I would like to go there.
JAFFER: La Castile, on the other hand, is a magical kind of steakhouse. It looks like a castle, and has stained-glass windows and big oak chairs and gaslights out front. It's Lord of the Rings meets Goodfellas.
GUERGIS: That's Mexican, right? I love Mexico. One time I flew down there just to go to a cocktail reception for ex-pats. I drank mojitos all night. The press was all over me for it, but NAFTA is a very important relationship.
JAFFER: It's a good thing we have so much "business" to discuss.
(JAFFER and GILLANI guffaw weakly and pause in an awkward moment of man-silence, having run out of physical displays of bravado. The WAITER returns with a bottle of wine, which he uncorks with great ceremony and aplomb.)
WAITER [to JAFFER] More wine?
JAFFER: I'm driving. Oh, what the heck.
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