Old Yorkey
Who: A grizzled Lawrence Park WASP who's thinks the Pan Am Games are a waste of money and is probably going to be up at the cottage, anyway. Old Yorkey lives at the Badminton and Racquet Club, where he eats roast beef sandwiches and drinks rye and gingers. He finds his city increasingly unrecognizable and thinks his grandchildren eat too much spicy food.
Pros: Authentic.
Cons: Authentic.
Likelihood: 4 per cent
Diversity Wo/Man
Who: An androgynous "mash-up" of the more than 100 ethnicities that live in the GTA. Wearing an "only in Toronto" multicultural getup that includes a turban, paddy hat, niqab, kirpan and native headdress, Diversity Wo/Man greets visitors by saying "Welcome to Toronto" in an incomprehensible blend of Hindi, Tagalog, Somali, Mandarin, Tamil, Korean, Iroquois and Urdu.
Pros: The odds on favourite.
Cons: Not diverse enough.
Likelihood: 45 per cent
The Scar-Bro What
Who: A street-smart rappin' hip-hop sensation, The Scar-Bro is here to tell the entire nation About Pan Am-ness Can you take a guess? In what country Chavez Is Mista' Prez Can't say? Don't know? Then ask the Scar-Bro Yeah!
Pros: Will resonate with "youth."
Cons: Will not resonate with youth.
Likelihood: 35 per cent
Quatchi
Who: The sasquatch mascot of the Vancouver 2010 Winter Games.
Pros: Not only is he recognized and loved by millions of potential overseas visitors, but brand-development capital, focus groups and trademarks are already paid for, making Quatchi cost less than 10 per cent of an original mascot.
Cons: A forest-dwelling alpine creature, Quatchi cannot tolerate the heat and humidity of a Toronto summer and will be able to promote the games only from walk-in freezers or the polar bear exhibit at the zoo.
Likelihood: 6 per cent
William Lyon MacKenzie
Who: The Scottish canal labourer turned political rabble-rouser who rose to become the first mayor of Toronto and went on to lead the Upper Canada Rebellion.
Pros: His feisty demands for responsible government will resonate with Americans and dispel the reputation of Torontonians as uptight and boring.
Cons: During focus groups, the 8 to 75 demographic will find MacKenzie "weird, vaguely threatening and annoying."
Likelihood: 2 per cent
McDalton the Ontarian Beaver
What: An aquatic rodent that bares an uncanny likeness to the Premier of Ontario, McDalton likes to remind foreigners not to use cellphones while driving and educate "my fellow Ontarians" about the HST.
Pros: He comes with provincial funding.
Cons: McDalton's popularity among Ontarians will reflect poorly on the city among visitors.
Likelihood: 8 per cent
Special to The Globe and Mail