While there has been much criticism of the 'manosphere' and its associated peddling of misogyny to boys, analogous female-centric online communities – the 'femosphere' – thrive as well.kieferpix/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
Debra Soh is a sex neuroscientist and the author of Sextinction: The Decline of Sex and the Future of Intimacy.
On any given day, you can casually scroll on social media and unearth a plethora of freshly posted videos of single men and women recalling nightmarish dating experiences to their followers.
“When he says, ‘I’m big on honesty’ and lies about his height while you’re literally looking at him,” reads the caption of one young woman’s post.
“I can’t tell you how many doors I have opened for these women, and I hear, ‘As you should,’ instead of ‘Thank you,’” winces a 24-year-old man.
This genre of content capitalizes on humiliating and antagonizing the opposite sex. Women are portrayed as entitled, manipulative freeloaders seeking marriage to destroy a man’s life. Men are seen as serial predators and duplicitous creeps; in one TikTok survey, women said in the forest they’d rather encounter a bear than a man.
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The damage has been deep, particularly among young people. While there has been much criticism of the “manosphere” and its associated peddling of misogyny to boys, analogous female-centric online communities – the “femosphere” – thrive as well.
Femosphere influencers encourage women to be calculating in their interactions with men and to use them for their money, akin to how some men will use women for sex. The femosphere is similarly noxious in its promotion of misandry to girls, yet it has elicited milder, if any, consternation by comparison.
Leaving this bias unchecked has had serious consequences. Poll findings published by The New Statesman suggest that a generation of young women have been radicalized by online content, moving further left in their politics and harbouring full-fledged hatred of men.
Young women, especially those with white-collar jobs, have more negative views of the opposite sex than men do. Only 50 per cent of women polled (aged 18 to 30) said they have a positive view of men, while 72 per cent of same-aged men had a positive view of women.
For women under the age of 25, this pessimism was more pronounced – only about a third reported a positive view of men. Although the manosphere’s anti-woman ideology has been loud, it seems anti-male attitudes are more widespread.
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In addition to polarizing content on social media, the educational system and a cultural desensitization to male suffering have produced this unfortunate shift in young women – including fomenting a sentiment that retribution against men is justified.
In higher education, young women are told they remain oppressed at the hands of men. In response, many scholarships and professional opportunities are offered explicitly to women (but not to men), despite the fact that women and girls are objectively outperforming their male peers.
Regarding cultural trends, when pop superstar Sabrina Carpenter began killing men in her music videos, this further solidified her popularity instead of ending her career. I highly doubt a male musician nonchalantly depicting homicidal acts against women in today’s climate would enjoy the same acclaim.
Many young men are understandably aggrieved by this double standard. And the resentment on both sides has roiled the dating pool. Around the world, Gen Z men (aged 14 to 29) increasingly support traditional gender roles, with 31 per cent agreeing in one survey that “A wife should always obey her husband.”
A polling firm in Britain reported that young women state a clear preference for dating someone who shares their progressive politics, particularly on subjects like social justice, immigration, and President Donald Trump. Young men, however, typically lean to the political right.
How will this battle end? Studies have found that women become more conservative with marriage and motherhood, but as more young women eschew both due to women’s greater economic success and societal norms celebrating their singledom, the political gap – and lack of understanding – between the sexes will only grow.
Single men looking to settle down may feel inclined to downplay their right-leaning political beliefs to spark a woman’s interest, but this does not fare well for the longevity of a relationship. With such a stark misalignment in values, many young people are giving up on dating altogether.
Instead of engaging in an endless spiral of dehumanizing the other, men and women must call out sexism and cruelty on both sides. Our institutions and media should acknowledge that online extremism can occur from women and men alike.
Both sexes must recognize that every person they meet is an individual, not a member of a tribe. A stranger shouldn’t be held responsible for the hurtful things a previous partner did.
Consuming divisive content won’t make a person savvier on the dating market. It only lines the pockets of histrionic influencers and Big Tech.