The Brandenburg Gate is illuminated to commemorate Shiri Bibas and her two children Kfir and Ariel, following the handover of their bodies to Israel, in Berlin, on Feb. 26.Liesa Johannssen/Reuters
The Empire State Building was lit up in orange Wednesday night. So was the Eiffel Tower. And the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. For many who gathered to look on, the orange light in the darkness was a reflection of their grief. Some must have looked up and wondered: why? For others, the why was more painful: why for them and not so many others?
The orange glow honoured the memories of Shiri Bibas and her two carrot-haired boys, Ariel and Kfir. Ariel was four when he was abducted from his family’s home in Israel on Oct. 7, 2023; Kfir was almost nine months old.
On Wednesday, a few days after their bodies were returned from Gaza, they were buried together, next to Ms. Bibas’s parents, who were killed in the Oct. 7 attacks. As the bodies were en route to the funeral, Israelis lined the streets, some holding orange balloons. There were drawings of Batman, a favourite of Ariel’s.
“Shiri, you are everything to me. You are the best wife and mother there could be,” said Yarden Bibas, wearing an orange kippa. The only survivor of this happy little family, he had been held hostage separately from his wife and children, not knowing their fate. He was released Feb. 1. In his eulogy, he recalled the last decision he and his wife had made together. “In the safe room, I asked if we should ‘fight or surrender.’ You said ‘fight,’ so I fought. Shiri, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you all.”
From hearing confirmation that the Bibases were dead, to the spectacle of their bodies’ return, and then their burial, a traumatic week has resurfaced raw grief in Israel and among Jews worldwide, as the first phase of the Israel-Hamas ceasefire is scheduled to end this weekend.
The grotesque handover ceremony saw four coffins placed on a stage as festive music played and people came out to watch, cheer, mix and mingle; some brought their own kids along. A party atmosphere. The backdrop was a large picture of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, fanged like a monster, with blood dripping down to form an oval around images of the four dead Israelis. The fourth victim on that stage was Oded Lifshitz, 83, a peace activist who had fought for Palestinian rights.
On the coffin said to be bearing the body of Ms. Bibas was written the date of her arrest. Yes, “arrest” is the word they used: Oct. 7, 2023. But, as you surely know by now, the body was not hers. Ms. Bibas’s actual remains were returned the following day.
Israeli forensic scientists determined the Bibas boys had not been killed in an air strike, as Hamas had said. They had not been shot. They were killed with bare hands, the autopsy showed. Likely in November, 2023. What was that month like for those little boys? Were they with their mother? Was she forced to witness their murders?
More horrible details, according to forensics: after the boys were killed, their bodies were mutilated to simulate wounds from bombing. Perhaps to match Hamas’s air strike story. It’s too much. Heartbreak upon heartbreak.
Since the Oct. 7 attacks, the Bibas children have been a symbol of the devastation. The announcement of their deaths created an outpouring of grief. But also a rupture. While the world went on – maybe noticing, maybe not – Israelis and Jews in the diaspora were in anguish. The world was bifurcated, once again.
It is ever thus, yes, for so many global disasters and the people most affected, scattered around the globe – including Palestinians, who have been grieving for 16 months for their own children.
The bodies of four more hostages, men ranging in age from 50 to 86, were returned this week. Hundreds of Palestinian prisoners and detainees were released by Israel in exchange. Some of the released Palestinians have been sent home by Israel in shirts emblazoned with the Star of David and the words “We will not forget nor forgive.” There has been outrage about this, too.
Meanwhile, the U.S. President posted a bonkers AI-generated video this week, portraying Gaza cleaned up and resort-ified, filled with golden Trump statues. This fake “Riviera of the Middle East” travelogue starts with children in the rubble of Gaza, and progresses to a shot of Donald Trump and Mr. Netanyahu poolside at the Trump Gaza Hotel. (I wish I was making this up.) Also on social media this week, some people have argued that all this attention to the Bibas boys, when so many Palestinian children have been killed, is racist.
Come on. To grieve for these little boys – a superhero-loving big brother and a baby that did not live to experience a birthday – is human. It is also human to grieve for every child killed in this war. Must this really be an either/or equation? Can we not have space in our hearts for all the dead children? They all, every one of them, deserve our grief.