Reply All … And Other Ways To Tank Your Career by Richie Frieman.
From Reply All … And Other Ways To Tank Your Career by Richie Frieman. Copyright © 2013 by Richie Frieman and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Griffin.
Of the most annoying workplace characters you're likely to encounter, none is more annoying than The Gossip. This person knows everything about everyone and makes it their mission to share the wealth with whoever will listen. You may not have even asked, but I promise you will find out more than you ever wished to know about the intrigues of company life.
"So the new guy in accounting, I hear he's dating Michelle from HR. You didn't hear this from me, though." My favorite is the "Between me and you . . ." The "Between me and you" is The Gossip's calling card. This person opens with that to whet your appetite and then lay down some awful news like, "I heard that Ken is getting fired tomorrow." The Gossip lives in a world of lies and distorted truths, and wants you to join in the scandal.
Like The Bully, The Gossip comes in many forms. It's not always the perky extrovert who wants to know everyone's business. In fact, The Gossip is a chameleon that takes the form of whatever situation they are in and like the sneaky little reptile, they are always waiting in the corner for someone to fall into their trap. The Gossip is usually friendly, enjoys talking to others, and loves being a part of the team . . . but only because they crave attention and need more fuel for their rumor-mongering habit.
What seems like a casual trip down the street to get coffee with The Gossip can turn into a Barbara Walters special on the Ten Most Fascinating People in the Office. Let's say while you're getting coffee, the Gossip tells you excitedly that Carol in marketing is padding her expense reports because she maxed out her credit card. You had no idea and didn't want this information, but now you know. You're trapped and have become an accomplice in the scheme. Put it this way: you may not have robbed the bank, but if you knew it was going to happen and did nothing about it, you are still guilty.
So when The Gossip unethically shares confidential or personal information about your coworkers, you are complicit. Let's now say that because The Gossip likes to spread news around to anyone who will listen, rumors of Carol's indiscretions find their way to the vice president of accounting. Then the question arises, "Who knew about this?" Well, unfortunately, because of your coffee break, you did– and The Gossip would have no qualms about throwing you under the bus. Now what do you do?
Gossip in the office is never a good idea. It makes people nervous to have information they shouldn't. The best way to stay out of The Gossip's web is to avoid it altogether. If you're in a group setting and you see a wave of gossip coming on, busy yourself with something like "an important phone call" and step away from the conversation.
If The Gossip catches you in the hall and stops to chat, find an excuse to leave as soon as the conversation takes a turn for the improper. "Hey, that sounds good but I have to run to a meeting. You around later? We'll catch up." At work, this is a perfectly acceptable way to dodge a bad conversation.
The other thing you can do if dodging isn't an option is to simply change the topic. When you see it going down a bad road, bring up something new– something totally innocent and gossip– free, like the weather– and don't let it go back to the gossip. Do this just until you can escape. After you are gone, The Gossip can find someone else to parlay their poison. Someone who hasn't read this book.