Sex and drugs and cellphones

Sometimes we come across a campaign that makes us wonder: What the FCUK? The British clothier French Connection knows how to keep us off balance just enough so that we're forced to pause for a moment and process what they're saying - at which point, like a virus, they steal into our brains and find a quiet spot from which they can pester us into buying clothes we never knew we wanted. The company did that with their long-running risqué acronym logo, and now they're doing it with an out-of-home and Web video campaign that's almost Dadaist in its rhythm and apparent send-up of fashion advertising. One poster of a winsome, open-mouthed young woman reads: "This is the woman's shoulder. The shoulder is very special at this moment." A picture of a heavily hirsute man - he reminds us of a young Fidel Castro - is accompanied by text that reads: "I wear the check jacket. Go now. I am thinking." Not us; our brains hurt.

The fight about digital billboards is gaining a toehold in Calgary. Digital billboards are the bright, and massive, LED signs that some critics - and even some advocates - liken to "television on a stick." (Think the streetscape of Las Vegas.) The problem is, a really big television is probably not the smartest thing to be watching when you're behind the wheel of a two-tonne vehicle: One critic in Michigan calls them "weapons of mass distraction." Lawmakers in some U.S. states are crafting legislation to restrict their use, and this week Calgary politicians suggested they, too, might consider a ban. The industry, which loves the boards because they can serve up a rotating series of ads rather than a single static one, insists there is no evidence to suggest the signs are more distracting than conventional billboards. It's true, the science is still thin. Of course, the tobacco industry used to defend their product by noting there was no evidence to suggest smoking caused cancer. Until there was.

Mini Canada press release

Actors will do just about anything for work. Want proof? Take a look at the rough ride some thespians are getting in Taxi 2's fun new campaign for Mini Canada. In one 15-second spot, a man appears to lose his eyebrows and mustache from riding with his head out the window of a speeding Mini. Which explains why the actor in the spot, Norm Sousa, tweeted on March 16: "Spending time with my girlfriend and my eyebrows before they both go away." In another spot, after being driven at high speeds around a parking garage, a hefty fellow is embarrassed that his chest continues to rock from side to side even after the car has come to a complete stop. We're told that, rather than resort to CGI trickery, the production simply puppeteered the, um, natural gifts of the actor, Rob de Leeuw. Okay, we'll say it: That is one very well-endowed man.

SoBe's ad experiment so bad Who needs creative ad agencies? This week Advertising Age reported that SoBe, the PepsiCo beverage, had dumped its creative agency in favour of a team including its PR agency and a digital house, all of which are encouraged to throw ideas into the ring. It sounds almost utopian, with everyone contributing strategy and creative. Their first effort, a cheap video of an office worker hit with hallucinogenic visions of model Ashley Greene after chugging SoBe, is atrocious. If things don't improve, we give the experiment six months.

Iggy popping up everywhere Oh, Iggy Pop, tell us the rumours aren't true. Sure, you and the Stooges were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last month. But does that mean you have to sell out? A few months ago, an ad for the British car insurance company Swiftcover did the rounds on YouTube starring none other than our Iggy. Now comes word that he and the Stooges will be coming to Toronto next month to do a free concert at Yonge and Dundas Square sponsored by Virgin Mobile. Keep this up, and he'll have to rename that song of his Lust for the Marketing Life.

Edible iPad takes Doritos prize Congratulations are in order to Jeff Chan, a 24-year-old Toronto-based filmmaker who pulled off an upset win in Doritos' Viralocity contest with his riff on a spicy cornchip-as-iPad. For weeks, it looked as if his video, Doritos Tablet, would end up finishing behind a pair of videos by the foul-mouthed Vancouver-based Internet comedian Peter Chao. During the contest, Mr. Chan said he'd been harassed by people he assumed to be passionate followers of Mr. Chao, including receiving a nasty voice mail message. But all appears to be forgiven: We can only assume that's because $100,000 in prize money has a way of making the hurt go away fast.

If a tweet falls... Speaking of viral marketing, a fun digital dust-up broke out this week when Yahoo's chief research scientist Duncan Watts said during an Advertising Age conference that paying so-called "influentials" such as celebrity Kim Kardashian $10,000 per tweet was likely throwing good money after bad. On networks such as Twitter, influence is more democratic than conventionally believed: Unless followers retweet a paid tweet, those tweets die almost instantly. "A lot of times, not that many people are listening on Twitter," Mr. Watts said. If we tweet that comment, would Twitter notice?

The dangers of ad targeting Marketers might be holding back from embracing digital display advertising because of concerns that all that smart software designed to deliver targeted ads could backfire. That's according to a study released this week by the Winterberry Group, sponsored by AdSafe Media (which, as it happens, sells software that addresses the issues). Respondents said that if the "brand safety" issue could be resolved, it could mean an additional $2-billion (U.S.) in online advertising. We can understand the appeal. Still, it sort of takes the fun out of reading a website where, say, a life insurance ad is served up next to an article about a plane crash.