The Wayne Gretzky statue outside of the Rogers Place in Edmonton was vandalized with excrement on Friday.JASON FRANSON/The Canadian Press
On Saturday, the New York Times published an op-ed headlined, ‘Canadians Know Americans. They Don’t Want to Be One.’
It’s become trendy for the right sort of American (in this, an expat Canadian) to write something that reassures right-thinking fellow citizens that it’s not them. It’s the rest of America that’s bad.
I feel something deeper than annoyance when I read these things now. It’s edging into rage. Nothing about them is wrong, but they have only one purpose. They are designed to absolve half of America for what the whole is doing. They are of a piece with the new vogue for Americans on tour to wear ‘I didn’t vote for him’ buttons.
So? What do you want from the rest of us? Applause?
When I’m getting jacked up in an alley by a bunch of guys, I do not look out among my assailants and think, ‘I wonder which one of them really doesn’t want to be here?’
I would not be reassured if I heard later that two of five didn’t stick a boot in because they didn’t believe in what was happening to me. All I know is that I’ve been jumped.
Right now, Canada’s getting knocked into the garbage cans by America, while the Democratic Party goes, ‘Hey, hey, hey, is that really necessary?’, but isn’t intervening.
You can take your ‘help’ and stick it. We’re in a brawl. Since we didn’t start it, it’s not on us to distinguish the well-intentioned from the misinformed.
If nice Americans want to do something, then do something. That would be appreciated. But stop expecting forgiveness. You are all of a piece to us, your target.
This is how I’ve started to think of Wayne Gretzky – an American who wants it both ways. He wants to golf in February and show up whenever Canada’s about to win another trophy.
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Regardless of where he was raised, Gretzky is no longer Canadian in any important way. He hasn’t lived here full time for decades.
He doesn’t go to work here, or send his kids to school here, or lean over the fence and talk to his neighbours here. I’m sure he has as nuanced an understanding of the contemporary Canadian condition as the average New York Times op-ed writer (so, none).
Yet somehow Gretzky has become the most important figure in the average Canadian’s discussion of our shared American problem. I wrote about him a month ago and people are still writing me long e-mails explaining how they feel about him. Some read like one-way therapy sessions.
What most of these people feel is betrayal. Many countries have a great turncoat in their history. Gretzky has become ours.
On Friday, someone climbed up onto the Gretzky statue outside Rogers Place in Edmonton and smeared it in excrement.
As protest goes, it’s effective. One woman or man, one dog, one plastic bag, the cost of transport and you’ve made international news. Maybe the dog did double duty and acted as the lookout.
A hundred op-eds would not have anywhere near the same impact. Kudos.
But maybe it’s time to stop and wonder, why Gretzky?
Why must any discussion of this existential, national problem always include a foreign (read: American) context? I don’t need to know what America thinks. We have a WiFi connection at my place. I know what America thinks. I’m up to here with America’s thinking.
I’m in America right now, talking to Americans. If it comes up, everyone I interact with loves Canada and really wants you to know that. They get a look – ‘Aw, you poor thing.’ I hate that look.
Some people don’t get the look. They are the ones who, based on their accents, aren’t ‘from’ America. They knew all along what America’s like, have made their peace with it and figure you will, too. They don’t feel at all sorry for you. They know that until very recently, you thought you were on the winning side. I like that reaction better.
Whatever he feels for Canada any more, Gretzky is an American, coming from a nativist American perspective, having an American reaction to Canada. I couldn’t care less what the guy thinks, but Canada is still fixed on it.
Were Gretzky to announce that he would make a public statement of his beliefs, and counterprogram it to the federal election debates, which do you think would do better numbers? And how does that make any sense?
If a widely recognized Canadian thinker – we’ve done a poor job of building up any of those lately – says anything on this topic, they are nodded at and ignored. Ontario Premier Doug Ford aside, nothing our politicians say moves traffic.
But when Joe Rogan has the most trivial thought (“Why are we upset at Canada? This is stupid”), Canadian families huddle around the wireless waiting to hear what change in our fortune this portends.
Enough with Americans who have thoughts on Canada. Their real-life sad-face emojis aren’t helping us. They certainly won’t do anything that might impact their own standing. Why would they? Beyond thoughts and prayers, none of us rushed out to help Ukraine. Well, this is how it feels.
If you are a Canadian who worries about what’s going to happen to this country, the only people you can count on live on your street. They take the bus with you. They go to your school.
You share something far more important than a passport with them – mutual self-interest.
We’re not getting anywhere if we keep letting outsiders influence, even pervert, our planning. It’s just we ourselves now. The sooner we can accept it, the sooner we can start making hard choices.
Wayne Gretzky was a great Canadian. Past tense. He chose another side. He’s free to do as he likes as long as he’s not hurting anyone.
But when Canada gets together for an important discussion nowadays, we need to stop inviting Gretzky and all the other Canadians of convenience. Even as fall guys.