U.S. President Donald Trump speaks to reporters during a meeting with U.S. Soccer President Carlos Cordeiro, centre, and FIFA President Gianni Infantino, second left, in the Oval Office at the White House, in Washington, on Aug. 28, 2018.Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
Seven years ago, when the joint Canadian, American and Mexican bid for the 2026 World Cup was still up in the air, then U.S. president Donald Trump joined the lobbying effort.
A nice way to have gone about it would have been to promise a fun event that brings people together. Instead, Trump whipped out a metaphoric pistol and started waving it around.
“It would be a shame if countries that we always support were to lobby against the U.S. bid,” Trump said on what was then Twitter. “Why should we be supporting these countries when they don’t support us (including at the United Nations)?”
Why is it that every time this guy talks he sounds like Mario Puzo has got a hand in the back of his head?
‘It would be a terrible shame if something were to happen to this nice, family bar you’ve got here …’ – [starts tipping bottles off the shelf] – ‘ … so maybe you should just buy my Trump-brand turpentine and call it single malt.’
The kicker was that the Canada-USA-Mexico bid was in zero danger of losing. Its only competition was Morocco, and the African hopeful had been up front about the fact that the flesh was willing, but the GDP was weak.
The attraction of the North American bid was stability. Shoehorned between two Middle Eastern World Cups (Qatar 2022 and an inevitable Saudi Arabia 2034), the joint American bid promised a nice, easy soccer tournament. No dead migrant labourers. No silly buggers with women’s rights. Just a lot of talk about how soccer was the sport of the future and money, money, money.
Now it’s shaping up to be the least-friendly friendly games ever held. If you had to predict a legacy of the Canada-USA-Mexico World Cup right now, it would be as the tournament that kills multination bids.
By the time this thing rolls around, Mexicans may have to enter America by catapult, and Air Canada may have to fly to Guadalajara through Tokyo.
The American anthem will be booed in Mexico and Canada; the Canadian and Mexican anthems will be booed in America; and, worst of all, the Canadian and Mexican anthems will be wildly cheered in each other’s home stadiums. Any sort of anthem-playing is an invitation to an international provocation.
During the opening round, the co-hosts will each play within their own borders. But with the tournament expanded to include 48 teams, all three are likely to advance to the knockouts. Eventually, one of them is going to play another.
Usually, we’re holding our breath for Croatia-Serbia or Russia-Poland – countries that have fought wars. But those conflicts are ancient and often (temporarily, at least) settled. Older nations understand that sport is part of the theatre of conflict. What happens there has to do with national pride, not politics.
Does it feel like anything to do with the United States and its neighbours right now is anything but political? Don’t you get the sense that any little insult – real or perceived – could kick off something more awful than a sudden rise in the cost of avocados?
When Scarborough’s Mike Myers mouths, “Elbows up,” during the fadeout on Saturday Night Live, a million TikTok explainers are born. The thrust of each one: ‘Are they threatening us??’
Usually, you’d say that 15 months is a long time, and that whatever’s piping hot right now will cool. In this case, trade-war convection with a soupçon of real-war hinting suggest the opposite will take place.
The World Cup will be played four months before the next American midterm elections. By that point, Greenland could be under bombardment and they might be fighting each other in the streets. I’m not prepared to guess who ‘they’ might be. Everyone?
And here comes a nice, little sports tournament where all the aggrieved parties can come together and kick the crap out of each other.
Who knows which three members of Canada’s starting XI are best suited to starting fistfights in the first nine seconds of a game? That’s what training camps are for. If we sort it out now, we’ll save ourselves the trouble of doing it last-minute in the group chat.
Most often, the goal of any host is holding a fun games that works. You want strangers to leave impressed. That was the whole point of Canada agreeing to do this – to get together with our best pals and advertise that the continent is a great place to visit and do business. LOL.
This World Cup now has a different priority – Canada has to do better than America. Whether that’s round of 32, quarter-finals, whatever. Just. Beat. America. Head-to-head would be best.
Secondary goal – win the opening round Group B. That would allow Canada to play two knockout games in Vancouver. Otherwise, the team is headed behind enemy lines.
Tertiary goal – help Mexico beat America, too. I’m not sure what we have to offer in that regard because I think they got rid of the drones. Hopefully, well wishes are appreciated.
The great thing about sports is that it matters as much as you would like it to. If the Leafs winning a Cup is a main focus of your existence, I congratulate you on having no actual problems.
But every once in a while, the mattering is taken out of our hands. Some cultural events should be of concern to everyone, as a point of pride. If you don’t feel that now, you’re not paying attention. When you’re not paying attention, bad things happen.
World Cup 2026 probably won’t be fun, but it will be watched. No country gets many chances to show its quality while the whole world looks on. This is ours.
More than any hockey tournament or Olympics, this formerly low-stakes soccer gathering will be Canada’s chance to show how much fight we have in us, and who we’re willing to fight to do it.
Editor’s note: (March 20, 2025): This article has been updated to correct the year during which the World Cup was held in Qatar.