On Sunday, former Toronto Maple Leafs captain Mats Sundin was hired to be the team's senior executive adviser of hockey operations.Frank Gunn/The Canadian Press
Over the last decade, the Toronto Maple Leafs became unrecognizable. Making thoughtful decisions instead of wild stabs. Enjoying a series of lucky breaks. A general sobering in their approach.
It was terrible to watch. Like seeing your most out-there friend go straight.
Eventually, this turn toward competence began to sap the Leafs’ spirit. Everybody was succeeding on paper, but no one was enjoying themselves.
Name me one fun Leaf – player, coach or manager – over the last 10 years? Just one guy who looked like he was in the place he most wanted to be. You can’t do it.
Why? Because this hockey team wasn’t meant to be steady. It’s not like all the other boring, logic-conforming, occasionally winning hockey teams. That is its beauty.
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The Leafs are intended to manufacture chaos. The franchise exists to convince even the dimmest wits that they could run a professional sports outfit, as well as to lose when winning would be the easier option.
On Sunday, they did all three. Great news, people. The Leafs you grew up with are back.
After scouring five continents for someone to save them, the Leafs have come up with a guy they know from the VIP buffet, and another one who’s got nothing better to do.
The club announced that former Leaf Mats Sundin will become senior executive adviser of hockey operations, and former Arizona Coyotes GM John Chayka will be the general manager. The pair will be debuted on Monday.
John Chayka, seen here in 2016 as the GM of the Arizona Coyotes, will serve as the Maple Leafs' 19th GM, with an official media introduction to come on Monday in Toronto.The Associated Press
The Leafs keep reminding us that they are the greatest organization in hockey. So why do they hire like they’re selling untaxed cigarettes out of Ed Rogers’ garage?
Until they were hired, neither had a job in hockey. You’ve heard of the graveyard being full of indispensable men? Had these guys been hit by space debris last week, they’d have ended up in the dispensable section.
Chayka got the Arizona job when he was 26, and lasted four years. His decisions during that time ran a gamut from ‘What?’ to ‘Who?’ to ‘Why?’ He didn’t just fail there. He dragged the organization down with him. In the end, he didn’t leave. He ejected with great force.
After leaving hockey, Chayka fell back on his side-hustle as a fast-food franchise owner. It’s possible that a few years in the shark tank of French fry distribution have sharpened his instincts, but if so, why didn’t Ronald McDonald get an interview?
Sundin seems like a decent guy, but if he comes out with an interesting idea in his opening press conference, it will be the first time. We’ve been watching the guy for decades and he’s said so little that nobody’s sure if he speaks Swedish.
There is his history – winning nothing with the Leafs, and then leaving in a huff. It’s like hiring your ex because you remember the good times, except the good times weren’t that great.
Give these hires this much – they’re bold. The Leafs are always at their most visionary just before they spin out.
Obviously, you can’t say for certain that something’s not going to work out before it has a chance to start. Except in this case. This won’t work out.
It’s not a function of smarts. Both these guys could be sneaky hockey savants (though, if so, they’re good at keeping secrets).
The problem is that neither is big enough, experienced enough or battle-tested enough to get their arms around the monster that is the Toronto Maple Leafs. Nobody is.
For a second there, through a group effort by Brendan Shanahan, Lou Lamoriello, Kyle Dubas and Mike Babcock, the Leafs had things sort of under control.
So all it took was a Toronto-born-and-raised Hall of Famer, the most cold-blooded executive in the game, a wunderkind and the greatest coach in history (at the time). The four of them working together could only manage it for three or four years. Then the Leafs’ true nature began to re-emerge, like werewolfism.
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If I were hiring for the Leafs, I wouldn’t bother with hockey at all. My wish list would start with Condoleezza Rice and Warren Buffett. Rice works them over; Buffett closes the deal; the team still loses; but the postseason autopsies are TED talks.
However, assuming the Leafs wanted a hockey management resume, shouldn’t they have targeted people who have one of those? What has Chayka won? What has Sundin done? There’s outside the box and then there’s this – unable to locate the box, and unsure if the box exists in the first place.
The Leafs couldn’t even figure this out on their own. They hired people to help them do it. And this what they came up with? A guy no one wants, and another no one knows to want?
It is … I don’t have a good enough word for what it is. It’s me putting all the fingers on one hand together, bringing them to my lips and kissing the air. It’s perfect.
When any team hires a new executive, what you’re trying to do is create a sense of exhilaration. You want people to believe that things are about to take off. At worst, the move should suggest serene hopefulness.
Sundin and Chayka should be introduced to the media with a soundtrack of people screaming in the background. You might as well start dumping buckets of fish blood in the press box.
Finally, the Leafs are starting to seem like themselves again. Maybe you were getting worried that they’d gone straight for good. We’ve finally moved past that.
Now we have so much to look forward to – running Auston Matthews out of town, with William Nylander tied to his bumper. A year of full-on panic as they try to drag this crew of no-hopers into the playoffs. A teardown that can never be called that, in case that interrupts season ticket sales. A blizzard of gimmicky trades that blow up in the Leafs’ pants pocket. Free agent pursuits that get huge buzz and go nowhere.
After a couple of years, the roster will turn to sludge and the bag heads will return. They’ll make Comfortably Numb the new goal anthem. The city’s many problems will seem a trifle next to the calamity on Bay St.
I know how this must make you feel, and I’m with you. For the first time in ages, I too am excited about the future.