No club of recent vintage – or perhaps any vintage – is as fractious as the French national football team. Soccer's history is littered with teammates who hated each other's guts, but the French routinely take it up a notch.
Their lead-in to the 2010 World Cup was so fraught that the manager promised to quit before the tournament began. One of his stars berated him publicly after a loss. He was sent home. The rest of the team then refused to practise. The then-minister of sport flew to South Africa to admonish the squad. During her speech, several players apparently burst into tears. It all ended in disaster, which has become very typically French.
The debacle prompted a cleansing fire in the French national set-up. Several executives quit under duress. The ringleaders among the players were pushed into retirement. It was supposed it could never get any worse.
It just got a lot worse.
In seven months, France will host Euro 2016. Thanks to FIFA's financial pliability and Europe's new plan to move its continental championship away from the single-host model, this could be the last great football tournament for a generation. For France, it's already turning to ash.
The best French player is Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema. The country's most consistent performer at the national level is Lyon midfielder Mathieu Valbuena.
A month ago, Benzema called a childhood friend to discuss Valbuena. More specifically, to discuss a sex tape of Valbuena taken on a cell phone.
Benzema's friend and two others – all of whom have been charged – were allegedly attempting to extort money from Valbuena in return for the tape. Upon first being contacted by the blackmailers, Valbuena went to the police. So they were listening in on that phone call between Benzema and his pal.
A few things do not seem at issue: that Valbuena is in the tape; that it was taken surreptitiously; that someone tried to prise money from him for it. Bottom line, people are going to jail.
The question that is currently roiling France: Will Benzema be one of them?
The player has declared his innocence through proxies. He suggests he got involved as an intermediary only because he wanted to help his teammate. A leaked transcript suggests a rather more chummy relationship between Benzema and one of the alleged blackmailers, identified as Karim Zenati.
Here is just one part of a 20-minute conversation.
Benzema: "I spoke to [Valbuena] about family … [Y]our mother, your father, they will see your woman or I have no idea who. You see, after that, he was thinking, thinking. I said to him that in any case he should do what he wants. There, I am with the French national team until Sunday. If you give me your number, I will give it to my friend. He will come to see you in Lyon. You will discuss it. You see with him, he did not want to. Well, it's your life. But I warned you, eh?"
Zenati: "It is good, brother. You have done really well."
Benzema: "There you go, I said to him that. After that, I do not know what he will do. He will call his agent. He will say they have the video. I said to him, 'Listen, there is no intermediary, no lawyer, no friend, no agent, no police. It's not what you want.'"
Zenati: "Um."
Benzema: "I said to him that if you want the video to be destroyed, come see my friend in Lyon. You see him directly and you speak with him. You send nobody."
Zenati: "Well, there you go, that's good."
You can certainly read that exchange two ways, but I know how I'd read it. Valbuena's lawyer has said his client feels "no animosity" toward Benzema and remains open to the idea that he was trying to help. But that sounds a little hopeful.
Benzema's lawyers have threatened legal action against whoever leaked the transcript. They suggest it will influence Valbuena's upcoming testimony. That's beginning to look like the winning argument that precedes the lost case.
Benzema has been placed under formal judicial investigation by authorities. In the French legal system, that means he has not yet been charged, but prosecutors have reason to think he will be. The initial probe could take months. A trial might be more than a year off. If convicted of conspiracy to blackmail, Benzema faces five years in prison.
We often assume star athletes are insulated from stupidity by a thick layer of agents, lawyers, managers and other MBA hacks. Some are, but far fewer than you'd think.
More often, athletes will choose to buffer themselves with family and friends – the people who knew and cared about them before there was a dump truck full of money to be considered.
How does Karim Benzema, who earns $15-million (U.S.) a year, end up getting pulled into a bush-league, five-figure, blackmail stitch-up? He picked the wrong friends.
In the published transcript, Benzema speaks pompously about the "buzz" a release will cause.
"It is true that it will not make the same buzz as it would for me, but brother, you are putting an end to his career, brother," Benzema says. "It is needless. He is having tomatoes thrown at him. I said to him, 'It is not a question of buzz, but a question of pride.'"
At a guess, Benzema has rather too much of that quality he wants to see reflected in Valbuena. It may have sunk him.
French media are already awash with photos of Benzema being perp-walked into a Versailles courthouse, and with moony pictures of Valbuena and his partner, Fanny Lafon. Regardless of how the legal process ends, this story will dominate Euro 2016.
The French Sports Minister – another one – has already declared that Benzema should not wear national colours while under investigation. One seriously wonders if Valbuena will want the bother.
Once again, and long before it takes the field, it seems that another French team has been undone by its collective personality, despite its collective talent.