With the simplest weddings, joy in Gaza perseveres

Open this photo in gallery:

The wedding was simple, modest and full of emotion. The bride wore a white dress embroidered with traditional Palestinian patterns. She stood in the crowded hall of her house, surrounded by family and friends, as the space filled with clapping and classical songs few hear any more in Gaza.

There was no electricity, as usual, but the room was lit with small battery-powered lights. There were no big speakers or fancy cameras, just a cellphone recording videos, and people trying to enjoy a special moment.

Children danced between chairs and women let out zaghareet, the traditional high-pitched ululation used in celebrations. The sound of music rose above the sound of planes and everyone danced and sang despite the noise from Israeli tanks near our refugee camp. There was no food on offer because there is hardly any to be found in Gaza.

Weddings may be simpler now than they were before the war, but they are a symbol that life goes on.

Andrew Coyne: Continuing the Israeli military campaign in Gaza can no longer be justified, morally or strategically

Opinion: As a Jewish Canadian, I want my community to speak out about the horrors in Gaza

This wedding, which my daughter Aseel, 29, described to me, took place at the bride’s house because wedding halls are either closed or too expensive.

Hussam Abu Sitta, a professor of sociology at Al Azhar University in Gaza, said many young people in Gaza are choosing to get married despite the killing, destruction and ongoing displacement mainly because the war has lasted so long and people can’t keep putting their lives on hold.

The courthouse in nearby Nuseirat is damaged but still officiates over approximately 20 marriage contracts daily.

Ibrahim Abu Huwaishel, a judge at the Nuseirat Court, said in the early days of the war, the courts stopped operating for a brief period but soon reopened to serve the growing number of couples who wanted to get married.

Open this photo in gallery:

The courts are trying to help maintain social stability, Justice Abu Huwaishel said, and marriage is one way for people to rebuild their lives.

For a while, some charities in Gaza worked together to run special programs to support newlyweds who lost their homes. In a temporary camp in Deir al-Balah, a city in the centre of the Gaza Strip, each couple was given a private tent with two sections, one containing a double bed, the other a small kitchen, bathroom and simple sitting area. Couples also received daily meals from a charity kitchen, along with clean water for drinking and showering. The goal of the project was to offer comfort and privacy, helping young people start their married life with dignity. But it needed significant financial support and supplies like food and tents are scarce or expensive to buy. The programs no longer exist.

Weddings sometimes are cancelled because guests die in the fighting between Israel and Hamas. The wedding of one of our relatives was called off the day of the event because the groom’s sister and her family were killed, along with the bride’s brother. The couple, Emad Deeb and Rasha Aoun, did marry, finally, but without the presence of relatives or friends. They started life together in a nylon tent because their home had been destroyed by a bomb.

Open this photo in gallery:

Before the war, engagement parties were held at the bride’s home, and weddings were large celebrations with big receptions. Dowries were considered essential and often consisted of large amounts of money, gold and jewellery. The wedding day was marked by a procession in the street, dancing with family and friends, decorated cars, large meals, traditional Palestinian desserts like kunafa, and even the slaughter of sheep and calves. These traditions, however, made the cost of marriage a heavy burden for many families.

After the war began in October, 2023, everything changed. Traditional ceremonies were replaced with simpler ones. Weddings started taking place in tents, shelters, or damaged homes. There are no processions, no food and only close family members attend. Some traditions remain. Men and women celebrate separately. At the wedding that my daughter Aseel attended, the women stayed inside the house while the men sat outside, chatting and waiting for the groom to take his bride to their new home.

The financial demands have changed. Dowries are much smaller and in some cases are waived completely by the families of the bride and groom. Despite all this, joy and hope still find their way into these moments.

Open this photo in gallery:

War has changed many social norms, Prof. Abu Sitta said. Young men and women are encouraged to get married now, while life is uncertain and the future unknown.

Sami Sarraj describes how poignant it was to see his son Ashraf save a little money to marry and hold a small reception.

“This is the first joy to enter our home since my eldest son disappeared,” Mr. Sarraj said. “He was engaged and supposed to get married too. We still don’t know what happened to him.”

Ashraf’s house was badly damaged, but he used simple materials and his own hands to fix up a small room among the rubble so he and his bride could live there. His joy came from the wedding reception but also from making the choice to continue to live his life despite the pain.

“Ashraf didn’t ask us for anything,” said Mr. Sarraj. “He tried to keep the costs low. He just wanted to be happy, even with everything going on.”

In Gaza, despite everything, people continue to marry, build families and hold onto hope. The war has changed many things – traditions, expectations and lifestyles – but it hasn’t stopped people from choosing life, love, and dignity.

Open this photo in gallery: