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When I first put my toe in the water of professional coaching in 2003, still fully engaged in my communications/public relations career, I was at the stage in my coach training program where I had to get a sizeable number of coaching hours to complete a practicum. This meant I had to find clients. How the heck was I going to do that?
There was no LinkedIn back then, or really any social media options. So instead, I instinctively relied on conversations. To test the waters, I started to casually mention my new pursuit with people I knew. For instance, when I’d see an acquaintance and they’d ask: ‘how are you’ or ‘what’s new’. Instead of the usual stock answer, I would share a tidbit about my new path such as: “Actually, I am into something new. I am training to be a coach.”
Because coaching was quite new back then, this often led to some curiosity. Often, they would ask me what sport I was coaching; or they’d assume it was strictly communications coaching. So, I’d share a little more to clarify and expand – and then I’d say something like this: “By the way, I am getting ready to do my practicum and am looking for clients who might be interested, in case you know of anyone.” Often, they said they were interested or knew someone else who would be. It didn’t hurt that I was providing an affordable rate for this opportunity.
This short conversation starter filled my entire practicum requirements. I started to think of it as my ‘by the way’ strategy and I shared this over the years with many of my coaching clients who were either looking for a job, exploring new fields or developing their own new business or side hustle.
Many people underestimate how a casual remark (by the way…) can lead to opportunities. One does not even have to limit these ‘by the way’ mentions with people in your targeted field. A friend may know of someone in the field. A neighbour may not work in your area, but their cousin does and he can ask on your behalf.
Years ago, one of my coaching clients had been let go as part of a restructuring. Having worked for 14 years as a project manager, he was well skilled. But he insisted he hated networking and self promotion and that he’d only apply to advertised positions. When that sole strategy delivered lacklustre results, he agreed to start with the casual, happenstance conversations with people he knew.
As it turned out, a “by the way” opportunity came up quickly. He was out with his sister and one of her friends. He was chatting with his sister’s friend and mentioned he was looking for a new role. She worked in an entirely different discipline but heard someone at her company recently left and they had an opening for a project manager. Bingo! As luck would have it, introductions were made and interviews set up.
A few degrees of separation can still turn into great connections and even widen your reach.
Another reason this strategy works is because it is meant to be natural and authentic with no hard sales pitches. This resonates with people who feel ‘icky’ trying to self promote.
Years ago, I’d been invited to speak about marketing strategies to a group of professionals who were at the cusp of a (then new) discipline called Collaborative Practice. They helped families divorce with a more collaborative, respectful approach compared to the more conventional legal process that can involve court involvement and often be more acrimonious. The professionals were wanting to build their practices and let people know of this approach.
The problem was most of them hated marketing themselves and felt uncomfortable. That ‘ick’ factor was loud and real for them.
So in addition to other tools and tactics, I added in a slide about the ‘by the way’ strategy. I think this is the first time I gave it a name. This ended up being the most resonant of all the tips. So much so that two of the attendees asked me to come to their local group to teach their peers this approach.
‘By the way’ meets the moment:
To be clear, this doesn’t replace other crucial activities such as proactive networking, social media, solid resumes and LinkedIn profiles. But it does fill an important gap. The moments and opportunities that show up that may not be obvious could lead to fruitful connections.
For example, you see an old friend at your son’s hockey game and start to chat – By the way, I’m thinking of a career change and curious about sector x. By chance do you know anyone in that field that I should look up and potentially talk to?
Tips:
- Do not make this your entire strategy but do include it in your toolkit. You never know who knows someone you should connect with.
- Remember, this is a potential conversation starter and not a guarantee of interest. Hold a light touch and know when to back off. Don’t get attached to telling your whole story. Watch for their reactions and only continue if you see interest.
- Never get into monologue territory. Make sure the conversation is a dialogue.
- Context matters. No one wants to be seen as the self-serving salesperson who always ‘works the room.’ Read the room and the people and use discernment when ‘by the way’ mentions are appropriate.
- Reciprocate and, if appropriate, let your conversation partner know you’d be glad to support them in their endeavors.
Keep your eyes open for those opportunities and meet the moment as it arises. You might be surprised with the results.
Eileen Chadnick, PCC, of Big Cheese Coaching, is an ICF credentialed, two-time ICF (International Coaching Federation) Prism award winner, who works with leaders (emerging to experienced), and organizations, on navigating, leading and flourishing in times of flux, opportunity and challenge. She is the author of Ease: Manage Overwhelm in Times of Crazy Busy