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Someone tells you that you did a great job on a presentation. You smile awkwardly, look away and quickly change the subject.
A client thanks you for helping on a challenging project. You immediately redirect the credit to everyone else who was involved.
A colleague praises a report you spent weeks preparing. You shrug and say, “Anybody could have done it.”
If any of these responses sound familiar, you are not alone. Many professionals work hard to earn recognition, yet struggle when it arrives.
Instead of simply accepting the positive feedback, they minimize it, explain it away or immediately redirect the attention elsewhere.
So why do so many capable professionals struggle to receive recognition? The answer is usually not arrogance. In fact, it is often the opposite. Most of us have been taught that humility is a virtue. We don’t want to appear boastful or self-important. But in trying to avoid arrogance, many of us overcorrect. We become uncomfortable receiving appreciation for our contributions, even when it is sincerely offered.
For some, the discomfort comes from a fear of appearing conceited. Others struggle with a version of imposter syndrome, quietly believing their success was largely luck, timing or circumstance rather than skill or effort.
Cultural background can play a role as well. Many of us were raised to be modest, to avoid drawing attention to ourselves and to downplay our achievements.
The irony is that accepting recognition graciously is not a sign of ego. It is a sign of confidence. And, similar to many professional skills, it can be learned.
The hidden cost of deflecting recognition
If the impulse to deflect recognition is understandable, the outcomes are often overlooked.
When someone says, “That was an excellent presentation,” and the response is, “Oh, it was nothing special,” the exchange shifts unexpectedly. A sincere observation is met with a downplaying of the achievement, leaving the person offering the recognition in the awkward position of having their judgment discounted.
Over time, this habit can have broader effects. It diminishes the effort that went into the achievement and can subtly undermine your own confidence in your abilities. It may also discourage others from offering recognition in the future if they expect it will simply be brushed aside.
The issue is not whether the praise is deserved. It is whether we can accept it graciously. There is an important distinction between humility and self-dismissal. Humility means having an accurate view of your contribution while recognizing the contributions of others. Self-dismissal means minimizing or denying your contribution altogether. One strengthens credibility. The other quietly erodes it.
A better way to respond
The good news is that receiving recognition gracefully is a skill that can be learned.
The first step is often the simplest: pause. Many people respond so quickly that they never give themselves a chance to actually receive what was said. Instead, they instinctively explain it away, change the subject or redirect the attention elsewhere.
Then say “thank you.” That may sound obvious, but it is surprisingly difficult for many people. A simple “Thank you, I appreciate that” acknowledges both the recognition and the person offering it. It does not require an explanation, an apology or a disclaimer about how the work could have been better.
It is also possible to accept recognition while sharing credit appropriately. If others contributed, acknowledge them without erasing your own role. “Thank you. The team played a big part in making it successful,” is very different from, “It wasn’t really me.”
Finally, let the moment stand on its own. You do not need to debate whether the recognition was deserved or immediately point out flaws in your performance. Accepting appreciation is not the same as claiming perfection.
Sometimes, the most professional response is also the shortest: “Thank you.”
More than good manners
Many people assume that comfort with recognition is something you either have or you don’t. In reality, it is a learned behaviour and it improves with practice. The first few times you resist the urge to deflect praise, it may feel awkward. This is normal.
But this is about more than good manners. The ability to receive recognition well reflects confidence, self-awareness and professional maturity. It allows you to acknowledge your contributions honestly while still recognizing the contributions of others.
Confidence and humility are not opposites. In fact, they often go hand in hand. The most grounded professionals are able to accept appreciation without either exaggerating or diminishing their role. They simply accept it for what it is: recognition of a contribution that mattered.
Merge Gupta-Sunderji is a speaker, author, mentor to senior leaders, and the chief executive officer of the leadership development consultancy Turning Managers Into Leaders.