Fred Soda, 92, recently moved in with his daughter, Cathy, 64, in LaSalle, Ont. Ms. Soda has put retirement on hold so her father could age at home.Dax Melmer/The Globe and Mail
Canada’s population is rapidly aging. The Globe and Mail’s Aging Well series explores the country’s longevity economy, how people are living healthier and happier lives as they age and how to support older adults.
Cathy Soda had planned to retire this year, closing the book on a banking career that spanned more than four decades. She imagined a quieter life: downsizing, travelling and shedding responsibilities.
But those plans unravelled quickly once her father’s health started to decline.
At 64, she’s still clocking in as an account manager, even as co-workers keep asking when she’ll retire. She delayed retirement to afford a house big enough to accommodate her 92-year-old father, Fred, and her 27-year-old son.
She originally intended to sell her home and move into something smaller. But when her father could no longer live alone, she changed course. Earlier this year, she bought a bigger property so he could age at home, just as he wished, and it took over a year to find something with a main-floor bedroom and the accessibility features he needed.
“Financially, it’s a bigger burden for me than for anyone,” said Ms. Soda, who lives in LaSalle, Ont., just outside Windsor. “But that was my choice.”
The idea of “aging in place” – staying in one’s own home instead of moving into a retirement or long-term care facility – has become a near-universal aspiration for Canadians. But few fully grasp or plan for the financial and emotional realities of doing so, from home renovations to private care and the toll on unpaid caregivers.
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A survey by HomeEquity Bank found that 90 per cent of Canadians over 45 want to remain in their homes as they age. Yet only 13 per cent have planned for the cost of in-home support, such as personal care workers.
Costs can quickly add up. Home modifications, from installing grab bars and chairlifts, to building accessible bathrooms, can run a bill into the hundreds of thousands. Add in personal support workers or part-time nursing, and the price of staying home can rival, and in many cases even top, that of a private long-term care room, experts say.
Mr. Soda, a former construction worker with lung disease from asbestos exposure, never saw long-term care as an option. “It never occurred to me,” he said. “I was always in the house, with always somebody around me.”
While he contributes some savings, most of the caregiving and nearly all the household costs fall to his daughter. She pays the weekly grocery bill, spends most of her free time cooking and cleaning, and recently replaced the kitchen appliances, an expense of several thousand dollars.
“I put my retirement on hold,” she said. “I’m tired.”
Cathy has made financial sacrifices so her father could age in place. While 90 per cent of Canadians over 45 aspire to remain in their homes, only a fraction have planned for the costs.Dax Melmer/The Globe and Mail
Over the next two decades, the number of Canadians age 85 and over could triple to almost 2.5 million people, according to Statistics Canada. The Canadian Medical Association projects that by 2031, the cost of providing long-term and home care will hit $58.5-billion, nearly double what it was in 2019.
“Most of us want to stay in the comfort of our own homes and stay connected with our friends and family,” said Rebecca Ganann, an associate professor at McMaster University’s School of Nursing and a nurse scientist at the university’s Aging, Community and Health Research Unit. “But one of the things people can underestimate are the costs.”
She said the pandemic worsened perceptions of long-term care homes and pushed many families toward at-home arrangements without fully preparing for the financial or emotional demands.
Rick Moore, 80, and his wife, Angela, 81, of Mississauga, learned this firsthand. About seven years ago, Ms. Moore had a transient ischemic attack, or a “mini-stroke,” and was subsequently diagnosed with vascular dementia. While her cognitive abilities remain mostly intact, her mobility has declined.
“We didn’t plan for this,” Mr. Moore said. The couple had to scramble to figure out the best option for them. “Sometimes you have to deal with the cards that you’re dealt and my whole goal is I want to keep her at home.”
They installed a $12,500 chairlift and added safety bars to the shower and bed. Mr. Moore is his wife’s full-time caregiver, while also managing the household. He hires caregivers to come in three times a week to get regular breaks, which costs about $30,000 a year. “The expenses do add up,” he said. “Fortunately, we have pretty significant resources, and that’s a huge benefit.”
Plus, Mr. Moore is healthy and able to care for his wife. But many caregivers stretch themselves so thin that they aren’t able to meet their own needs, Dr. Ganann said.
“There’s a lot of unpaid work that goes into aging at home,” she said. “We often forget the reliance on family and informal caregivers, who absorb not only the time but also the financial pressure.”
In 2018, one in four Canadians provided care for a friend or family member because of aging, health issues or disabilities. Women were more likely to be caregivers than men, particularly between ages 55 and 64.
Even with government credits and programs, many caregivers face steep out-of-pocket costs. Unpaid caregiving alone accounts for roughly 75 per cent of total care costs in Canada, according to 2023 research.
Cheryl Dalziel, 60, cared for both her aging parents and estimates she spent more than $100,000 total on care expenses, equipment and home modifications.
“I went through my savings a couple of times,” the Prince Edward Island resident said. “I did everything, the housework, the cooking, the finances. I was doing it all.”
She worked part-time in consulting when she could but said she didn’t qualify for employment insurance or caregiver benefits. “I had zero source of income,” she said. “I survived on what little I could earn.”
Her parents have now both died. “I don’t regret taking on being a caregiver,” Ms. Dalziel said. “But my greatest lesson was that I didn’t have the boundaries or the safety nets I needed.”
Ultimately, the ability to age in place often depends on one’s financial capacity.
Clara Bolster-Foucault, a PhD candidate in epidemiology at McGill University, has studied who has the ability to age in place, looking at regions around the world, including North America, Europe, Australia and Britain. “Access to this kind of care is not universal,” she said.
In her research, she found preliminary results that suggest that in Quebec, people with fewer years of education – often a proxy for lower income – are significantly more likely to end up in long-term care.
“This is kind of across the board, no matter how you cut the cake,” she said.
Financial planners say one of the biggest surprises for families is just how expensive aging in place can be, and how often people underestimate it. Adam Chapman, a certified financial planner in London, Ont., said many clients assume staying in their home must be cheaper than moving into a retirement residence, but “they do the math all wrong.”
A $5,000-a-month retirement home sounds steep, he said, but people rarely factor in the costs they would no longer pay, such as property taxes, utilities, home maintenance or car expenses, nor the income they could generate by selling their home.
The best defence, planners say, is starting the conversation as early as possible. Julia Chung, a certified financial planner in Vancouver, urges families to talk through expectations long before a crisis hits: What parents want, who might take on caregiving, how much support will be needed, and which provincial or federal tax credits can help offset the costs. “I don’t care how old you are, talk about it now,” she said.
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In discussions within families, it is important to talk about who is actually paying for what, said Julie Seberras, head of wealth planning and practice management at Manulife Wealth. “If you want to age in place, you are quite often looking at your children or even grandchildren to help with the caregiving,” she said, a responsibility that can push family members to scale back work and affect their own finances.
Part of that planning also means assessing whether a home can realistically support aging in place. Ms. Seberras said families often assume renovations will solve everything, but sometimes moving is safer and more cost-effective.
When it comes to saving for aging in place, there’s no one magic number, as every situation is different. But Ms. Seberras recommends being conservative in saving. She advises planning as if a person will live to 95, not the average life expectancy of 83. It’s also important, she said, to build in buffers for inflation and the rising demand for care.
Robb Engen, an advice-only planner in Lethbridge, Alta., said many families turn to reverse mortgages or home-equity lines of credit to bridge gaps, though interest adds up quickly.
“You want some margin of safety, not just relying on your home equity,” he said. He encourages clients to use their tax-free savings accounts to set aside money for future needs such as renovations or personal support workers.
Ms. Soda says it took her time to adjust to her new routine, adding family caregivers should expect constant change.Dax Melmer/The Globe and Mail
For Ms. Soda, those financial realities have collided with the emotional weight of caregiving. She hadn’t lived with her father since she was a teenager, and with her mother gone, she doesn’t take their time together for granted.
Still, she wishes she had fully anticipated the upheaval of moving. “I didn’t realize how important the consistency was,” she said. “Moving from one space to another is hard, it took a long time to set up a new routine.”
She’s also learned to broaden her support system. “I don’t ask for help, and that’s my fault. I’ve got to ask for help from people,” she said. Her advice to other family caregivers is to expect change, constantly. “It’s almost like raising children, every year is different.”
Even with the long days and financial trade-offs, she feels she’s where she’s meant to be. “I just told myself this is your point in life, and this is what you do.”
